December 24, 2016 “Mississippi Murder” (*1/2 out of four) was an inept murder mystery set in the backwoods of Mississippi about a young woman (Hani Furstenberg) whose dark and mysterious past comes back to haunt her as she is pursued by a ruthless villain (Malcolm McDowell) and a cop (Luke Goss) trying to help her. McDowell chews the scenery in his umpteenth creepy villain role and Furstenberg isn’t compelling enough to navigate an entire movie. Goss is cool and charismatic as usual but is wasted in a throwaway role. Watch “Mississippi Burning” instead. Continue reading →
December 24, 2016 “Kamikaze” (** out of four) was a murky international espionage thriller about a former M.I.6 agent (Marcus Shakesheff who also directed) turned mercenary for hire who does mysterious work for a British Cabinet Minister (Laurence Patrick). When a top-secret operation backfires, the minister orders his partner to be kidnapped forcing him to be a one-man vigilante fighting against spies and various government thugs to get her back. Throwback to ’80’s action thrillers of Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris is hard to follow but is fast-moving enough and packed with enough hand-to-hand combat and violent action to make it watchable for action junkies. One scene of Shakesheff using a car to defeat 6 different bad guys is particularly impressive and is reminiscent of Jackie Chan. Continue reading →
December 24, 2016 “Panzer” (** out of four) was a not-bad horror melodrama about an archaeology student (Melina Matthews) who discovers a Nazi bunker called Valhalla and searches for stolen art with her friends but they soon realize it’s guarded by a slaughtering beast and are running for their lives. Opening half is dour and talky, as film takes too long to get going, but second half features some good kills and delivers the goods. Love that chain that the beast carries around! Worth watching on a very draggy night Continue reading →
December 24, 2016 “Harley And The Davidsons” (** out of four) was an ambitious but overlong, underwritten saga of the Davidson family and the various personal and financial crisises they endured in inventing the Harley and developing it into the most successful motorcycle of the 20th century and an American icon. Many moments of individual power and good performances but story tells you both more and less than you want to know and lacks the sweep and epic grandeur that it needs. Handsomely shot and features some good individual scenes but still rings hollow. Continue reading →
December 24, 2016 “Star Wars: Rogue One” (*** out of four) was a kinetic entry in the legendary series about the Rebel Alliance making a risky move to steal the plans for the Death Star and a young girl (Felicity Jones) is imprisoned but later freed to track down her scientist father (Mads Mikkelsen) who was working on and attempting to complete the Death Star project which could in turn save the galaxy. Moves in fits and starts, with a plot that’s not always the easiest to follow, but is packed with the series’ usual dazzling visual effects and cinematography and picks up speed as it goes along and the final 45 minutes are spectacular. Jones is rock-solid in the lead. Incidentally, this is not a sequel to last year’s “The Force Awakens” but is a spin-off and a prequel to the original “Star Wars.” Long-time Star Wars addicts won’t be disappointed and will particularly love film’s final two scenes. Continue reading →
December 21, 2016 “RWD” (* out of four) was a dreadful found-footage horror thriller that will make most viewers want to press the eject button, rather than rewind. Two young brats (Adam Hartley and Matt Stuertz) go in search of ghosts in the backwoods but soon find that strange occurrences begin happening which affects their sanity and their lives as well. Yet another found-footage horror movie that looks as if it cost less to make than you will spend at Redbox to rent it. Both Hartley and Stuertz starred, wrote, and directed this so they bear all the blame for this clunker which liberally rips off “The Blair Witch Project”. Nonstop hand-held camera movements may give you a nonstop headache. Continue reading →
December 21, 2016 “Middle School: The Worst Years Of My Life” (** out of four) was a crude, silly teenage comedy about a rebellious middle schooler (Griffin Gluck) who grows tired of his school’s obsession with following any and all rules and attempts to start an uprising against the school and its by-the-book principal (Andrew Daly) by breaking all the rules and letting the students take over! Promising story of teenage rebellion and awkwardness is dumbed down by stupid characters and endless fart jokes. Far from “the worst” of its kind but by-the-numbers and forgettable. Obviously inspired in part by “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “10 Things I Hate About You” Continue reading →
December 20, 2016December 20, 2016 “Edgar Allen Poe’s The Lighthouse Keeper” (** out of four) was a cheesy adaptation of Poe’s short story about a young man (Matt O’Neill) stranded on a remote peninsula with a deranged lighthouse keeper (Vernon Wells) and must face off various evil forces and rituals. Or something like that. Seriously weakened by a low budget and film’s dreary and flat photography. Die-hard Poe fans might find something of substance here but it’s tough-going for anyone else. Watch “The Light Between The Oceans” instead. Continue reading →
December 20, 2016 “Good Tidings” (*1/2 out of four) was an ugly, unpleasant horror thriller set in the bowels of England about a homeless war veteran (Colin Murtagh) whose vicious defense tactics must be re-utilized when him and his companions are targeted by three psychopaths in Santa suits on Christmas Day. Endlessly bloody and gory and filled with multiple scenes of torture and dismemberings so don’t expect this to be a feel-good Christmas present. Only for those who thought one remake of “Silent Night, Deadly Night” or “Black Christmas” wasn’t enough. Continue reading →
December 20, 2016 “Collide” (*** out of four) was a fast and furious action thriller about an American backpacker (Nicholas Hoult) who becomes caught in a web of organized crime and deceit between two rival gangsters (Anthony Hopkins and Ben Kingsley) which results in him having to be on the run across the Autobahn. Plot is both simple-minded and overcomplicated at times but is told in high-speed and high-style and never stops moving! Enthusiastic and campy performances from Hopkins and Kingsley give this an extra boost. Should satisfy racing and car crash junkies until “Fast 8” comes out! Continue reading →
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