December 4, 2016 “The Crooked Man” (** out of four) was a hokey supernatural thriller all-too-obviously inspired by “The Boogey Man” and “Candyman” about a young girl (Angelique Rivera) whose friends are stalked and murdered by a mysterious figure known as The Crooked Man who only appears in the dark and when a childhood rhyme is uttered. Michael Jai White is wasted as an ominous friend of Rivera who is involved in the creature’s formation. The term crooked more aptly applies to the filmmakers who recycle better movies into derivative claptrap like this. Continue reading →
December 4, 2016 “Blood Brothers” (* out of four) was a rockbottom horror thriller about two brothers (Graham Denman and Jon Kondelik) who believe they have superior intelligence to others and to prove this- they begin a series of gruesome murders to fulfill their fantasies but this ends up tearing them apart. They should have fantasized about a better movie instead. Dreadful directing and acting turns this into an unintentional comedy. No relation whatsoever to the Broadway play with Carole King or the 1993 street melodrama with Clark Johnson but believe me- you may be praying for any and all of them to show up. Continue reading →
December 4, 2016 “The Eyes Of My Mother” (* out of four) was a staggeringly awful horror drama about a young girl (Kika Magalhaes) whose mother is murdered by a visiting stranger at their secluded farmhouse. She then procedes to keep this sicko alive in her barnyard because he becomes “her only friend.” Oh, did I forget to mention that her dad dies and she keeps his body alive as well and that she later kidnaps a child and dismembers the child’s mother? Many critics inexplicably thought highly of this mess but they ought to have their heads examined. Striking black-and-white photography is the only asset to this sick and otherwise worthless film. For no apparent reason, most of the movie is in English but some of it is subtitled. For no apparent reason should you watch this movie either. Continue reading →
December 3, 2016 “Pet” (**1/2 out of four) a tense psychological thriller about a strange and neurotic young guy (Dominic Monaghan) who bumps into an old flame from high school (Ksenia Solo) and gradually becomes obsessed and begins stalking her and then holds her hostage in a cage in his animal shelter but her response to this is far different than what he (and the audience) expects. Extremely well-acted story takes some unexpected twists and is unusually intelligent for this genre but story becomes overly cerebral and unpleasant, especially after she is taken hostage. If the animal shelter set looks at all familiar, it should because it was the same set used for “Saw” which this in many ways resembles. Continue reading →
December 3, 2016 “White Girl” (**1/2 out of four) was a well-directed but obvious melodrama about a hard-partying college girl (Morgan Saylor) who falls in love with a drug dealer in NYC and then does anything and everything to save him after he is arrested and incarcerated. Yet another story about the lifestyles of the young and decadent in the vein of “Cruel Intentions” and “Kids” is vivid, stylish, and holds your attention but is there a point? Plenty of sex and drugs aren’t enough to compensate for not enough story and character development Continue reading →
December 2, 2016 “Courier X” (** out of four) was a tepid underworld thriller based on the true story of Trenlin Polenski (Bron Boier) who was solicited by the C.I.A. to help cover up a blackmail attempt on the government after the release of a Pulitzer-prize winning book by Gary Webb and how this led to him becoming involved with multiple NYC thugs and mob connections while trying to save his own life. Murky story of various underworld connections, backstabbings, and shootings has too many subplots and characters. The kind of story that practically cries out for the dazzle of Martin Scorcese or Francis Ford Coppola. Boier is somewhat blank in the lead role but Anthony Mangano and Gary Francis Hope really make their mark as hard-hitting thugs. Continue reading →
December 1, 2016 “Bad Santa 2” (*1/2 out of four) was a dismal sequel that was a Christmas present the equivalent of a lump of coal. This time around, the drunken Santa Claus (Billy Bob Thornton) teams up with his midget sidekick (Tony Cox) and his foul-mouthed mom (Kathy Bates) to rip off a charity business in Chicago. Scattershot chuckles are defeated by ugly, stupid, and repellent characters who are enough to make anyone say humbug. I wasn’t a huge fan of the 2003 original but this is one more bad sequel where more is less. A major disappointment from director Mark Waters who in better days directed “Mean Girls”. Continue reading →
December 1, 2016 “Equity” (**1/2 out of four) was a diverting but derivative melodrama set in NYC about a Wall Street senior investment banker (Anna Gunn) whose affluent life gradually is becoming undone by a financial scandal and corruption and is being investigated by her former friend (Sarah Megan Thomas) who is now a federal prosecutor. Adrenalized story of wheeling-and-dealing among the rich and powerful holds your attention with its good performances and storytelling but is never enthralling or engrossing as it could have been, because we’ve seen much of this story before in “Wall Street”, “Boiling Point”, and “Margin Call” among many others. A good attempt by Meera Menon which may have been more timely and original 10 years ago. Continue reading →
November 30, 2016 “Sorority Party Massacre” (*1/2 out of four) was a trashy and dumb horror comedy about a psychotic killer on the loose who happens to find sanctuary at a sorority house where the bodies start piling up, and a local redneck sheriff (Ed O’Ross) and city cop (Thomas Downey) investigate. Not exactly the worst of its kind but not scary enough, gory enough, or frankly- bad enough- to make it entertaining. Horror fans will enjoy seeing fallen ’80’s stars O’Ross and Leslie Easterbrook (and porn star Ron Jeremy!) in supporting roles but this is a reminder again of when these movies were much more fun. Continue reading →
November 29, 2016November 29, 2016 “Search Engines” (* out of four) was an excruciating romantic comedy about a family (Joely Fisher, Natasha Gregson Wagner, Grace Folsom, Daphne Zuniga and others) who decide to resolve their problems over a long Thanksgiving holiday by turning off and surviving without their cell phones. You’d be much easier turning the movie off instead. Aimless, witless, and charmless movie features annoying characters you can’t wait to get away from. Any episode of “Leave It To Beaver” has more brains and laughs than this. Fallen ’80’s star Zuniga (“Spaceballs”) looks great but she should immediately start “searching” for better scripts. Continue reading →
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