“Infidelity Can Be Fatal” (** out of four) was a stylish but empty thriller about a private investigator (Lanie McAuley) who is hired by a sinister new client (Matthew Maccaull) and she ends up falling in love with him instead but soon begins to suspect he may be a duplicitous killer. Proficiently made and directed but undercut by its predictable script and derivative story elements. When will all these “Fatal Attraction” wannabes ever realize that without any story surprises or shock elements they have no impact?

Continue reading →

“Chupa” (**1/2 out of four) was a modestly likeable children’s drama about a disaffected teenager (Evan Whitten) who visits his family in Mexico and finds a mythical creature hiding in his grandfather’s shed which he develops a strong bond with but a determined poacher (Christian Slater) is actively tracking and attempting to hunt him down. Easygoing performances and some sweet moments between the boy and the creature make this watchable family entertainment but others might find it a tad too similar to “E.T.” and also (to some extent) “Pete’s Dragon.” A change-of-pace for director Jonas Cuaron who previously wrote “Gravity” and “The Shock Detective.”

Continue reading →

“Darker Shades Of Summer” (*1/2 out of four) was soft-core/sex trifle about a married couple (Daniel Godfrey and Abbie Knight) who go on an experimental retreat where they are tested by all kinds of sexual temptations and triggers which push their faithfulness in each other and their marriage to the absolute limit. Glamorously shot by Hyago Rodriguez and features plenty of sex for those who want it but not much of anything else as film goes nowhere with bad performances and dialogue making the trip that much slower. Film desperately attempts to mimic both the title and story elements of “50 Shades Of Grey” but come-to-think-of-it that film was terrible also.

Continue reading →

“A Lot Of Nothing” (*1/2 out of four) was a heavy-handed melodrama about a happily married couple (Y’lan Noel and Cleopatra Coleman) who see a nearby neighbor and cop (Andrew Leeds) on the news for shooting a child and decide to take the law into their own hands by kidnapping him but they both begin to reflect on one another the moral and legal repercussions of what they’re doing and whether this really is doing the right thing. Pertinent subject matter is told far too awkward and unconvincingly and contrivances eventually blunder this into ridiculousness. Noel and Leeds’ strong performances give this a boost but Coleman’s histrionics prevent you from taking any of this seriously. By the end, you simply can’t argue with film’s title.

Continue reading →

“Ten Doors” (* out of four) was a slipshod horror show about the intertwining tales of 3 authors (Amber Lee, Shelley Novak, Robert Shepherd) and how their various sinister and supernatural elements threaten to overtake them and all their followers unless they can uncover the curse that is at the root of all of them. Mumbo-jumbo horror story made even more brutal by terrible acting and filmmaking. Co-director Gordon Price previously made the cult thriller “The Devil’s Door” but he may want to expand his horizons (and titles) before all “doors” in filmmaking are closed to him for good.

Continue reading →

“Visions Of Filth” (0 stars out of four) was an excruciatingly awful psychodrama about a dying naked man (Martin Payne) in his apartment who spends his final days reflecting on- and reliving- some of the brutal sex crimes he has inflicted on some of his past victims. Aptly titled movie filled with scenes of Payne wandering naked, masturbating, and thinking back on his sexual attacks against helpless victims; if that’s your cup of tea, have at it. The kind of movie which makes you watch in nauseous disgust. Payne deserves credit for his brave performance but otherwise this is for masochists only.

Continue reading →

“Attack Of The Killer Chickens: The Movie” (0 out of four) was an absolute rockbottom horror comedy about a town of none-too-bright citizens and politicians (Genoveva Rossi, David Naughton, Brendan Fletcher, and others) who find themselves under siege by a barrage of murderous chickens who want to reclaim the town as their own. Grade-Z attempt at schlock sci/fi comedy with dreadful acting and tacky filming the moldy icing on the slushy cake. With a title like that, you know what you’re in for but believe me it’s even worse as film doesn’t even have any low-budget scares or tongue-in-cheek laughs. This makes “Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes” look like “Titanic” by comparison.

Continue reading →

“Bunker” (*1/2 out of four) was an anemic horror thriller about a group of WWI soldiers (Roger Clark, Luke Baines, Sean Cullen, and others) trapped in an underground lair and soon find that a sinister force has overtaken them and is systematically turning them against one another and it’s a battle to the death to see who will survive. Plodding trifle in a claustrophobic setting but horror fans and WWI historians will find little of merit here; a few good special effects are film’s only value. “Junker” would have been a better title for this timewaster.

Continue reading →

“Three Days In The Woods 2: Killin’ Time” (*1/2 out of four) was yet another unnecessary horror sequel that will kill your time about a series of true-crime podcasters (Stephanie Ward, Patricia Rodriguez, Hillary Schmatolla-Brooks, and others) who return to the scene of the original slayings to uncover clues as to what happened but soon find out that the original killer is still on the prowl and that they’re next. Gory and disgusting movie is only for those who thought the original 2010 thriller was robbed at Oscar time. Film has the gall to rip off parts of the music score of “Halloween III: Season Of The Witch” but this sadly will never be in the same category as that overlooked masterwork.

Continue reading →

“The Pope’s Exorcist” (*1/2 of four) was malarkey hokum about a troubled priest (Russell Crowe) who is chief exorcist of the Vatican who investigates a young man’s terrifying obsession and uncovers (yawn) a sinister conspiracy involving the church involving exorcisms and supernatural stigmata. Allegedly based on the actual files of noted Father Gabriele Amorth but seems more based on “The Exorcism”, “Stigmata”, and just about every other terrible religious horror movie that comes out almost monthly these days. Once you’ve seen one priest fighting evil and exorcisms within the church, you’ve sadly seen them all. What the hell is Crowe doing in this movie?

Continue reading →