Author: dlepikcom

“Bittertooth” (1/2 out of four) was an insulting mess about two female podcasters (Genevieve Thomas and Autumn Ivy) who take it upon themselves to track down a brutal serial killer (Joe Altieri) and give him a dose of his own medicine by torturing and murdering him but they find out this is far more difficult than they realized. By the end of this trifle, viewers themselves will feel like they have been subjected to even worse torture. Film rambles in about 10 different directions for most of its length and only some stylish gore at the very end saves this from an absolute zero.

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“Angels Fallen: Warriors Of Peace” (**1/2 out of four) was a corny but combustible sequel to the 2020 original about a war veteran (Josh Burdett) who receives a calling from an angelic higher power (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) and others (Denise Richards, William McNamara, Randy Couture) to prevent an army of the dead from taking over the world. Maudlin and contrived but moves along quickly and efficiently and features so many familiar faces in the cast that it winds up surprisingly watchable. A little long but film’s fiery and exciting final third makes it worth it.

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“Beware The Boogeyman” (* out of four) was incoherent dreck about a new doctor (Elissa Dowling) at a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane and learns of the new cases from one of the equally insane doctors (Airisa Durand) and the various nutty patients (Chynna Rae Shurts, Rollyn Stafford, and others) she is responsible for. It’s films like this that make you think “Shelter Island” maybe wasn’t quite as bad as when it first came out. By the end of this mess, viewers themselves may feel like checking into a mental institution. “Beware” is right.

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“The Bench” (** out of four) was an overly derivative horror thriller about a woman (Jennifer Byrne) who is rescued by some summer partiers (Matt McClure, Chris Sommerville, and others) and invites them to her vacation house where they soon suspect one of them is a murderer because they all get killed one after another. Film started shooting in 2008 and took 16 years to finish and complete but doesn’t seem worth the effort. Film offers some gore and homages to “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “The Evil Dead” but not enough to distinguish it from lots of others of its ilk.

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“Cocaine Werewolf” (* out of four) was a howlingly awful horror show about a group of friends (Brice Kennedy, Yolie Canales, James Carolus, and others) filming a horror movie of their own in the Pennsylvania woods when a cocaine-infused werewolf shows up and prowls on the set and kills them off one by one. Yet another movie inspired by the bewildering success of “Cocaine Bear” but terrible acting and filmmaking make this a real bad trip. You’ll have more fun (and a lot more scares) attending an N.A. meeting.

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“The Beast Within” (** out of four) was an uninspired horror melodrama about a curious 10-year old (Caolinn Springall) who begins to question the reasons for her and her family’s (Kit Harington and Ashleigh Cummings) isolated existence and follows them on one of their treks to the forest and realizes the sinister evil lurking beneath the facade of their beautiful life. Not much suspense or horror and not much of anything else to sustain dramatic interest for long although good performances are a plus. This is not a remake of the 1982 abomination of the same name and is far better than that mess.

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“Death Web” (* out of four) was a monumentally dull “horror” thriller about a young livestreamer (Jenna N. Wilson) and an internet cultist expert (Alexander Dillon) who discuss online the endless possibilities of evil in the internet existence and explore the boundaries of the living and the dead where every click brings them closer to danger and death itself. One more movie set entirely online in which the characters talk and ramble to no extent and one more movie that the world didn’t at all need. Film is only an hour and 4 minutes long but believe me you’ll want to click off from this long before then.

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“Gunner” (** out of four) was a half-cocked action thriller about a world-weary gunfighter (Luke Hemsworth) who is forced back into action to save his 2 sons (Connor DeWolfe and Grant Feely) from a ruthless drug gang (led by Morgan Freeman and Mykel Shannon Jenkins) leading to all-out war. Utterly derivative action thriller off the assembly line but features enough firepower and violent action to make it watchable. Hemsworth is laughably stoic and Freeman is wasted but Jenkins is strong as the main villain.

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“Crescent City” (** out of four) was a lukewarm suspense melodrama about a group of cops (Terrence Howard, Esai Morales, Alec Baldwin, Nicky Whelan, and others) on the trail of a serial killer in which everyone is a suspect including each other and they have to violate their own moral code and conduct and start investigating one another to learn who to trust. Good cast does what they can with middling and weak material. Atmospheric lensing by Alex Salahi is a definite standout. With a stronger script and more original story, Morales and Howard could make a snappier team.

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“Alien: Romulus” (** out of four) was a tired sequel about a group of space colonists (Cailee Spenny, David Jonsson, Archie Reneaux, and others) who scavenge an isolated space station and soon find that it has been infiltrated and overcame by (what else?) aliens. Sort of a greatest-hits of previous “Alien” entries; first half is plodding and dull but the second half finally delivers some scares and action and builds to a fervent finish. Very stylish cinematography from Galo Olivares and direction from Fede Alvarez (and a welcome CGI return with Ian Holmes) make this watchable but a definite sense of deja vu hangs over the proceedings.

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