Category: Uncategorized

“Deadly Playthings” (* out of four) was a deadly awful horror story about a mysterious doll which is left in the house by its former owners and is found by a new family (Sarah Duterte, Lilace Guignard, Titus Himmelberger) and very soon- strange occurrences and various paranormal activity begin happening and people struggle to believe it is all caused by the doll. This amateurish mess is simply for anybody who needs to realize and remember on why the original “Child’s Play” was so great. The scariest thing about the doll is its a better actor and more lifelike than any of the humans in the story.

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“Chasing Molly” (0 stars out of four) was a virtually unwatchable mess about a paranormal con artist named Molly (Shelley Pack) who unwittingly rips off a drug kingpin of his molly valuables (are you laughing yet? How’s that for a knee-slapper?) and now has to fight through the underworld of Los Angeles to save her equally moronic partner (Jim Cashman) and stay alive. Excruciatingly stupid movie is populated by obnoxious characters and crude dialogue which the cast makes even worse by overacting. Steer clear of this disaster. Kurt Angle has a minor role as (what else?) a thug but he may want to wrestle himself a new agent soon.

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“Room For Rent” (**1/2 out of four) was an uneven melodrama about a lonely widow (Lin Shaye), beset by financial problems after her husband’s death, who rents out her room to a young man (Oliver Rayon) and develops an unhealthy obsession with him especially after him and another houseguest (Valeska Miller) fall in love. Shaye’s excellent and heartbreaking performance makes this worthwhile but once she breaks from reality and becomes erratic the movie does too. Film also doesn’t so much end as stop.

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“Rattlesnakes” (*1/2 out of four) was a toxically unpleasant melodrama about a successful therapist (Jimmy Jean-Louis) who is held hostage by 3 vengeful husbands who are convinced he has been sleeping with their wives. While physically confined to a chair, he attempts to mentally and psychologically turn the tables on them. All-too-obviously based on a play by Graham Farrow but what worked on stage fails to transpire to film. Since none of the characters are likeable, it’s difficult to care about any of them or their plights. Story- and characters- are more than a little reminiscent of 1997’s “Suicide Kings” with Christopher Walken.

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“The Husband” (*1/2 out of four) was an illogical and stupid thriller about a teenage daughter (Addy Stafford) who is initially happy when her mother (Jennifer Lafleur) falls in love with a successful entrepreneur (Chris Johnson) but she soon realizes he is a sociopath and psychopath who is intent on destroying both of their lives but finds her mother and no one else will believe her. Umpteenth “Fatal Attraction” story is as blunt and ordinary as its title and often laughably obvious. Final showdown at the end is particularly weak but at least movie is over soon after.

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“American Exit” (**1/2 out of four) was a reasonably effective father-son reconciliation drama in which a dying father (Dane Cook) takes his estranged teenage son (Levi Miller) on a road trip to try and re-establish a relationship with him and make up for lost time before he dies but the road hits a few detours. Not as powerful or compelling as it could have been, and weakened by an unnecessary drug subplot involving Udo Kier, but made worthwhile by Cook’s strong and believable performance. This easily marks the best performance of his career and Claire Van Der Boom also has some touching moments as the boy’s mom.

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“The Convent” (*1/2 out of four) was a wan supernatural thriller set in the 17th century in which a young woman (Rosie Day) is saved from execution and is led to a priory to repent her sins but soon (yawn) finds a greater evil laying within the church which naturally leads to exorcisms and religious upheaval. Yet another horror movie loaded with pretentious religious symbolism and paranormal activity that makes you wish “The Exorcist” had never been made. Michael Ironside is wasted as the magistrate of the church. Is there a chance in Hell that someone can save his career from this kind of junk?

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“I’ll Take Your Dead” (*1/2 out of four) was a mindless thriller about an older man (Aidan Devine) who works for the underworld and makes bodies disappear that are dumped on his farm acres. When a young girl (Jess Salgueiro) that he finds is still alive, they begin to develop a relationship with one another but her attempted killers from the underworld find out about this and try to show up to finish the job and mayhem ensues. Intriguing premise goes absolutely nowhere, as film soon sputters and becomes tedious and talky and only comes alive in its fiery climax. Devine is good in the lead and does what he can with paper-thin writing.

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“Life Like” (*1/2 out of four) was a practically lifeless melodrama about a wealthy young couple (James D’Arcy and Addison Timlin) who acquire a robot (Steven Strait) for household help but the more he is at home with them, the creepier and more life-affirming he seems which leads to them all questioning their state of being and the status of their relationships. Derivative and warmed-over story feels like remnants of much better films, specifically “A.I. (Artificial Intelligence)” and “Blade Runner.” Just because the story is centered on a robot doesn’t mean the characters and story have to have such little personality.

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