March 27, 2019 “Mercy Black” (*1/2 out of four) was a ponderous horror movie about a young girl (Daniella PIneda) who is returning home after 15 years from a psychiatric facility after stabbing a classmate and attempting to conjure the title spirit but upon returning home, she finds the spirit is very much alive and well and wants to kill her once and for all. Good atmosphere is just about all this thriller has going out for it, as story goes nowhere and takes its slow time getting there. Janeane Garaofalo is wasted in a minor role as a doctor at the facility Continue reading →
March 25, 2019 “The Devil’s Restaurant” (*1/2 out of four) was a crude and silly horror comedy about a young restaurant owner (Mark Robert Turner) who makes a deal with the Devil who will lure patrons to his restaurant but the owner has to feed some patrons to the Devil in return. Once the busboy and others find out, all Hell begins breaking loose. Potentially funny story of consumerism and greed is undone by dumb writing and staging and thus runs out of steam very fast. Similar in some ways to the cult breakthrough “Blood Diner” but not as stylish or fun. Continue reading →
March 24, 2019 “Dragged Across Concrete” (*1/2 out of four) was an impenetratable underworld melodrama about two overzealous cops (Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn) who are suspended from the force and are in turn forced to become involved in the criminal underworld to stay afloat and make ends meet and they end up in a battle with a deadly criminal (MIchael Jai White) as they find their careers and lives in the crossfire. Impossibly long and leaden story moves like molasses at times and provides few sparks and thrills, and a waste of a strong cast. Not all that different from the Tupac/James Belushi thriller “Gang Related” which was meaner and (much) leaner. Many critics praised this film but I’m not one of them. Continue reading →
March 23, 2019 “A Dog’s Way Home” (**1/2 out of four) was a moderately likeable story about a female dog named Bella (voiced by Bryce Dallas Howard) who is separated from her owner and begins a 400 mile trek to return home and find him and befriends a mountain lion cub along the way. May remind viewers a bit much of “Far From Home” and (especially) “The Incredible Journey” but the dog is adorable and film features plenty of beautiful scenery. No great shakes but a perfect film for family entertainment. Continue reading →
March 23, 2019 “Abduction” (**1/2 out of four) was a decent action flick about a man (Scott Adkins) who awakens in Vietnam with no memories of who he is or how he got there and is then pursued to the death by various underworld killers as he tries to stay alive and simultaneously piece together things from his past. Kinetic action yarn is packed with cool martial arts and hand-to-hand combat but story becomes overly routine and mechanical after a while. Adkins’ typically one-note acting range is actually put to good use here. No relation byetheway to the 2011 Taylor Lautner movie of the same name. Continue reading →
March 23, 2019 “Night” (0 stars out of four) was a simply unwatchable melodrama about a young girl (Alexis Beacher) who is kidnapped by a deranged nutjob (Nicholas Michael Jacobs) who forces her to be the star of his sick and twisted live stream in which he gradually tortures her (and the audience). Don’t look for more plot than that or anything else. Star/writer/director/producer Jacobs bears almost all the blame for this claustrophobic and sickening film. Even at a little more than an hour, this still feels like miserable torture. Continue reading →
March 23, 2019 “The Dirt” (**1/2 out of four) was a generally entertaining adaptation of Motley Crue’s over-the-top 2001 rock biography about the legendary L.A. rock band (Douglas Booth, Machine Gun Kelly, Daniel Webber, Iwan Rheon) and their meteoric and debauched ride to the top and their gradual undoing from drugs and tragedy and subsequent reforming and reunion. Director Jeff Tremaine does a serviceable job of recreating the 1980’s rock scene with PLENTY of sex and drugs but unfortunately (as is the case with most music biographies) film feels truncated and superficial and we’ve seen a lot of this before. However, film does send you out with a bang with a touching ending and an end credits sequence featuring the original band members which will really kickstart your heart. Continue reading →
March 22, 2019 “Into The Dark: Treehouse” (*1/2 out of four) was a gruelingly unpleasant horror story about an arrogant celebrity chef (Jimmi Simpson) who attempts to get away from the negative press of a public scandal by moving to his family’s vacation estate in the middle of the woods where a group of witches (Nancy Linehan Charles, Sophia Del Pizzo, and others) attempt to help him confront the sins of his past and his many mistakes. By-the-numbers story is further downed by unlikeable characters and annoying dialogue. It’s movies like these that make you realize how great “The Craft” was because this has little “craft” of its own. Continue reading →
March 22, 2019 “The Russian Bride” (*1/2 out of four) was an obvious and tedious horror thriller about a Russian woman (Oksana Orlon) who travels to America with her daughter (Kristina Pimenova) to marry a reclusive billionaire (Corbin Bernsen) but she soon realizes he is not who she thinks and that he’s a nutjob intent on ruining both their lives. Yet another thriller which makes you wish “Fatal Attraction” had never been such a monster hit all those years ago. It’s dispiriting that nearly 32 years later filmmakers are still ripping it off with little imagination. Bernsen’s usual solid performance provides film’s only sparks. Continue reading →
March 22, 2019 “Realms” (*1/2 out of four) was a ridiculous horror thriller set in Bangkok in which two American bank robbers (Ryan Kelley and Madison McKinley) and their three hostages end up having to take refuge in a mysterious manor in the woods which they soon realize is haunted by (yawn) a supernatural entity which wants to possess and kill all of them. Starts off fun but then veers off to such an extent and becomes so bizarre, boring, and eventually incoherent that it exits the realms of being entertaining on any level. Bangkok really is starting to get a bad name from all the endless bad movies filmed there. Continue reading →
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