February 17, 2019 “Bride Of Scarecrow” (* out of four) was a jarringly awful horror sequel to a movie that didn’t exactly cry out for a follow-up. This time around, a failing radio host (Claire Maria Fox) finds she has inherited a farm house in Wales from family she never knew about. Upon going to check this out, she soon realizes that the title scarecrow has risen again and this time he will kill to find his perfect bride. Lazily put together story is completely deficient in scares, thrills, or even unintentional laughs. Decent actors can’t breathe any life into this worn material. Watch “Bride Of Chucky” instead for a horror movie with some style and conviction Continue reading →
February 17, 2019 “Sleeping Dogs Lie” (*1/2 out of four) was a pointless melodrama about revenge and betrayal as a jealous wife (Markella Giannatou) kidnaps her cheating husband (Miguel Angel Caballero) and his young secretary (Joanne Zanella) and holds them both hostage in the middle of the desert until they all come clean with their sins. Not even a few steamy scenes thrown in can keep this from being dull. Attempt at a “Rashomon”-like version of “Fatal Attraction” may actually put you to sleep instead although Giannatou is strong in the lead role. Continue reading →
February 16, 2019 “Amityville: Mt. Misery Road” (0 stars) was a bottom-of-the-barrel bore about a none-too-bright couple (Karolina Morongiello and Chuck Mongoniello who both co-directed) who are ghost enthusiasts who travel back to Long Island to view the dreaded Amityville home and the title backwoods roads which is (yawn) populated by paranormal activity. This literally looks like it was shot by someone’s cell-phone camera and actually has very little to do with “The Amityville Horror” itself and liberally rips off “The Blair Witch Project.” Incredibly- this is the 22nd movie to carry the “Amityville” but is clearly the worst which is saying something. Avoid at your own “misery.” Continue reading →
February 15, 2019 “Broken Ghost” (** out of four) was a jumbled melodrama about a disaffected teenager (Autry Haydon-Wilson) and her parents (Scottie Thompson and Will Farnell) who move to Montana to leave the past behind and make a fresh start but are faced with old secrets from the past, new small-town tormentors, and an increasingly strange presence in their house. Well-made story has some fine individual moments and a rich music score by Michael Lira but fails to congeal as a whole and winds up too aloof to connect with you. Continue reading →
February 14, 2019 “The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” (**1/2 out of four) was a mildly entertaining sequel to the 2014 smash about the Lego citizens facing a new threat in the form of Lego Duplo invaders from outer space who wreck everything faster than it can be rebuilt but Emmet Brickowski (voiced by Chris Pratt) sets out to stop them. Full of eye candy and has some fun action sequences that kids will love but lacks the freshness and fun of the original or its two spinoff movies. Not bad but one more example of an uninspired and unnecessary sequel that pales in comparison to its previous entries. Continue reading →
February 13, 2019 “Alita: Battle Angel” (** out of four) was a scattershot cyberpunk action sci/fi thriller set in the year 2563 in the midst of a catostrophic war known as “The Fall” which has left the Earth devastated in which a deactivated female cyborg known as Alita (voiced by Rosa Salazar) is revived but cannot remember her past and sets out on a quest to find out who she is while at the same time saving and restoring humanity. Disappointing teaming of director Robert Rodriguez and James Cameron who produced and co-wrote the script but this captures little of the dazzle, grandeur, or spectacle of his “Terminator” series and seems to be just one more derivation of “Blade Runner” and “Total Recall.” Final derby sequence is spectacular but rest of film is pretty routine. Continue reading →
February 12, 2019 “Cold Pursuit” (*1/2 out of four) was a muddled and boring action melodrama about a snowplower (Liam Neeson) who seeks revenge against drug dealers who he thinks murdered his son but finds that the path to the truth leads to a government conspiracy (led by Tom Bateman) and inter-political fractions involving an American Indian drug cartel (led by Tom Jackson). By-the-numbers story of underworld conspiracies and coverups is too dull to become involved in. Neeson could play this role in his sleep by now (and often is) and he’s in the movie surprisingly briefly. William Forsythe provides film’s only style as Neeson’s brother. This was a remake of the 2014 Norwegian thriller “In Order Of Disappearance” Continue reading →
February 11, 2019 “Velvet Buzzsaw” (*1/2 out of four) was a bewildering “comedy” about a series of paintings by an unknown artist that are soon discovered but a supernatural and mysterious force is enacting revenge on those who put greed before their art: a snobby art critic (Jake Gyleenhaal), a greedy art gallery owner (Rene Russo), and a former artist (John Malkovich). Director Dan Gilroy throws so many shrill and eccentric characters in your face that the whole thing becomes off-putting and annoying, to say nothing of unfunny. This is similar to Gilroy’s previous fiasco “Nightcrawler” (which also starred Gylenhaal). A particularly egregious waste of Malkovich who is given almost nothing to do. Russo’s effortless charisma and usual strong performance is film’s sole bright spot. Continue reading →
February 11, 2019 “The Mermaid: Lake Of The Dead” (*1/2 out of four) was a stultifying horror thriller about a young woman (Viktoria Agalakova) who drowned a few centuries earlier who is reborn as a mermaid and has to overcome her fear of the dark waters to combat monsters and not become one herself; elsewhere, an evil mermaid (Sofia Shidlovskaya) falls in love with the fiance of the good mermaid and tries to keep them apart which leads to things getting really ugly in them thar waters. Or something like that. Both inept and inert and loaded with howlingly serious dramatics. This is strictly for anyone who thought “Aquaman” was too serious and needed to be lightened up. Continue reading →
February 9, 2019 “Shadows On The Road” (** out of four) was a moody but meandering story about a two runaway youths (Morgan Morkana and Flavia Watson) who try and take it on the run and see where life takes them but soon find that the past isn’t as easy to escape as they imagined. Film is well-made, well-acted, and initially holds your interest but as it dawdles along- you begin to wonder that there’s no reason to care about its characters or story and thus there’s no reason to keep you involved. By the end, it winds up empty and aloof. Continue reading →
dlepikcom 