July 1, 2017 “Hot Tub Party Massacre” (0 stars out of four) was an absolutely worthless horror show that looks like someone’s bad home movies; some annoying sorority sisters win a free weekend at a luxurious hotel spa and are dismayed when an escaped serial killer crashes the party. But believe me- you’ll be rooting for him to put each one of them out of their (and the audience’s) misery. The kind of inept horror movie that gives the term “low-budget” a bad name. Grade Z acting and filmmaking turn this into a real massacre. Continue reading →
July 1, 2017 “Z/Rex: The Jurassic Dead” (*1/2 out of four) was a brainless bore about a loony scientist (Cooper Elliott) who uses a toxic zombification gas to unleash the world’s greatest killing machine – the Z-Rex- but a team of military troops try to stop it before they become dinosaur brunch. With a title like that, you at least expect some low-rent thrills but you don’t even get that in this jurassic monstrosity. Not scary enough, thrilling enough, or- frankly- bad enough to be entertaining. Looks like an Ed Wood version of “Jurassic Park.” Continue reading →
July 1, 2017 “Inconceivable” (** out of four) a well-made but obvious, empty melodrama about a couple (Nicholas Cage and Gina Gershon) unable to have kids of their own who turn to a friendly new neighbor (Nicky Whelan) to be their surrogate mom but they soon grow suspicious of her and realize she may not be who she says. What’s really inconceivable is so many good actors were attracted to this mediocrity. Competent direction can’t enrich routine story and script, which is predictable at every turn. Faye Dunaway is wasted in a supporting role as Cage’s mom; Cage and Gershon first starred in the much more electric “Face/Off” 20 years earlier. Continue reading →
July 1, 2017 “The Beguiled” (*1/2 out of four) was a ponderous adaptation of the historical novel about a fallen Confederate soldier (Colin Farrell) who is taken in at the plantation of several women (Nicole Kidman, Kristen Dunst, and others) and things begin to stir when they all develop feelings of eroticism and love for him. Molasses-moving story is completely devoid of sparks or fire, and is even drably photographed and designed. A real bore, despite the efforts of fine cast. Many fans of director Sofia Coppola highly praised this movie but they’re the ones who are really beguiled. Continue reading →
July 1, 2017 “The House” (** out of four) was an occasionally funny but mostly dumb comedy about a married couple (Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler) who set up an illegal casino business in their home after losing their daughter’s college money and not wanting to disappoint her. Fans of Ferrell and Poehler may want to check this out but it’s an empty house for the rest of us. Jeremy Renner has a key cameo towards the end but it’s hardly worth sticking around for. Continue reading →
July 1, 2017 “Baby Driver” (**1/2 out of four) was a highly uneven action comedy about a getaway driver (Ansel Elgort) who likes to listen to rock music when performing his getaway tasks and gets in over his head when working for a crime boss (Kevin Spacey) and his new team of robbers (Jon Hamm, Jamie Foxx, Eiza Gonzalez). Flashy direction and quirky sense of humor help elevate thin and nonsensical storyline. Film has some laughs and fun action scenes but never quite hangs together and has too many ups-and-downs. Spacey as usual is first-rate and dominates all his scenes though he can probably play this role in his sleep by now. Continue reading →
July 1, 2017 “911 Nightmare” (**1/2 out of four) was a reasonably tense and engrossing thriller about a 911 call operator (Fiona Gubelmann) who is disgraced and terminated after mistaking a real murder for a prank call; upon her termination, she sets out to clear her name and sort out the various clues and find the real killer. Brisk pacing and strong and believable performance from Gubellman help cover up various plot holes and illogical plot points. Worth checking out but still- this is no match for “The Call” with Halle Berry which was similar but much more striking and chilling. Continue reading →
June 29, 2017 “The Wrong Neighbor” (*1/2 out of four) was a wrong movie about a newly divorced dad (Steve Richard Harris) who moves to a new neighborhood with his teenage daughter (Cristine Prosperi) and is befriended by an obsessive new neighbor (Ashlynn Yennie) who turns out to be a nutjob intent on wrecking their lives. Yet another “Fatal Attraction” rip-off that is fatally dumb and illogical and completely lacking any sparks or surprises. Michael Madsen is sorely wasted in a throwaway role as the school’s swim coach and Yennie is often laughable in the lead role. Continue reading →
June 28, 2017 “Scaler, Dark Spirit” (*1/2 out of four) was a mumbo-jumbo horror thriller about a paranormal researcher (Jessica Froelich) who discovers an ancient evil residing in the catacombs beneath a city church and begins investigating but finds that this leads to (yawn) all hell breaking loose. Not exactly the worst of its kind but you’ve seen this umpteen amount of times before in “White Noise”, “Paranormal Activity”, or any exorcism movie of your choice. Only some stylish art direction and touches from director Dan T. Hall give this any distinction. Continue reading →
June 28, 2017 “By Any Means” (**1/2 out of four) was a serviceable Netflix thriller about a celebrity actress (Brooke Burfitt) who is allegedly kidnapped by a fan (Thomas Gipson) but after her escape and his arrest- subsequent questions arise on whether she really was kidnapped or whether there’s more to both of their stories. Interesting story never shifts into high gear but keeps its grip thanks to its two strong lead performances and unexpected intelligent layers regarding celebrity and the twists and turns regarding both their stories……..leading to an ending that’s a real letdown and falls short of real satisfaction. Still, this is worth watching and better than most recent Netflix junk. Continue reading →
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