June 28, 2017 “After School Special” (* out of four) was an embarrassingly awful comedy about two high-school morons (Richard Switzer and Ryan King Persaud) who pull a misfired prank on the last day of school and are assigned to a mentor (David Gere) when they discover an underground society with some very dirty secrets which they attempt to expose. Lame script and direction and irritatingly stupid characters give this school comedy failing grades. Eric Roberts, Ron Jeremy, and Jason London all show up in dreadful cameos. Continue reading →
June 27, 2017 “Caged Beauty” (*1/2 out of four) was a maddeningly weird and pretentious drama about a musician (Silvia Suvadova) who is kidnapped and caged by her deranged ex-husband (Nick Mancuso) and forced to perform a series of challenges and complete her unfinished musical piece in order to win her freedom. If you make it to the end of this fiasco, you’ll feel like you were caged and will be begging for your freedom as well. Film is loaded with beautiful music but is also loaded with unpleasant and bizarre touches and scenes that go nowhere and a very pointless story. Good to see Mancuso as usual but judging from this- his career prospects seem to be under siege. Continue reading →
June 27, 2017 “Money Back Guarantee” (* out of four) was an excruciating horror melodrama that unfortunately offers no money back guarantee for the viewers. Four travelers (John Archer Lundgren, Allison Joy McDaniel, Scott Alan Warner, Simon Poppelreiter) take a less-than-incredible journey together across the Midwest where they become embroiled in the black market organ trade. Terrible performances and annoying characters make this really tough to take but the script was already stupid and confusing. The seriousness of the underground black market completely eludes the makers of this mess. Continue reading →
June 26, 2017 “You Get Me” (** out of four) was a forgettable Netflix thriller about a high-school student (Taylor John Smith) who breaks up with his girlfriend (Bella Thorne) after a sudden fight and then has a one-night fling with a new girl in town (Halston Sage) who turns out to be a serious sicko who enacts revenge when the two eventually get back together. Extremely stylish high-school version of “Fatal Attraction” moves fast enough but unfortunately has few surprises and starts to lag in its final third when it should be accelerating. Younger kids may “get” this but they’ll get more thrills and surprises watching the aforementioned “Fatal Attraction”, “Swimfan”, or “Obsessed.” Continue reading →
June 26, 2017 “Ripped” (** out of four) was a chronically dumb marijuana comedy about two stoners (Russell Peters and Faizon Love) who smoke biologically enhanced marijuana developed by the C.I.A. in 1986 who then suddenly awake in the year 2016 when marijuana is beginning to get legalized and attempt to sort out all of the many changes that have taken place in the past 30 years. Occasionally funny but more often one-note and silly. Cheech and Chong and also Dave Chappelle offered a much more potent hit of the same material 20 and 30 years ago. Continue reading →
June 24, 2017June 24, 2017 “Deadly Pickup” (** out of four) was a lurid melodrama/porn thriller about a sexy hitchhiker (Carter Cruise) who is picked up and has flings with men and then casually murders them but she then settles down into a small town with a husband and wife (William F. Bryant and Kira Noir) while the clueless local police gradually catch onto her. Hard to review exactly how good or bad it is since it is loaded with erotic sex and Cruise does give a solid performance; other performances range from passable to awful. Continue reading →
June 24, 2017June 24, 2017 “Everything, Everything” (**1/2 out of four) was an overall engaging adaptation of Nicola Coon’s 2015 novel about a teenager (Amandla Stenberg) with a severe immunodisorder whose spent her entire life indoors who falls in love with a new boy next door (Nick Robinson) and attempts to venture outside to the world for the first time. Nicely done performances and chemistry between the two leads helps you to overlook numerous story contrivances and flaws which are often glaring (especially regarding the girl’s relationship with her mother and a final plot twist). Should please its young target audience and fans of Coon’s novel. Continue reading →
June 23, 2017June 23, 2017 “47 Meters Down” (*** out of four) was a harrowing thriller about two sisters (Claire Holt and Mandy Moore) on a vacation in Mexico who becone trapped in a shark observation cage when it sinks to the bottom of the ocean with several Great Whites circling nearby and their oxygen depleting as they struggle to get to the surface! Tense and unnerving thriller delivers the goods in style and makes the recent shark thriller “The Shallows” look like a school session by comparison. Good underwater photography and good performances. Continue reading →
June 23, 2017 “Transformers: The Last Knight” (*1/2 out of four) was a leaden fifth entry in the now-exhausting series about (yawn) the continuing battle between robots and humans, and how Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) finds out he is the title descendant who can negotiate a truce in battle. Packed with the series’ usual visual effects and noise but it’s all boring, since you’ve seen it all before (and better) in previous entries. Fittingly enough- this feels spit-out and made by robots. And it goes on forever! Only Megan Fox could have possibly saved this junk but Anthony Hopkins adds some style as an astronomer and historian who knows of the Transformers’ history on Earth. What a waste of time and money! Continue reading →
June 23, 2017 “Girls Gone Dead” (*1/2 out of four) was a lame horror thriller which was nowhere near as clever as its title about six college friends who go on Spring Break to a beach party where naturally a homicidal maniac shows up and stalks them to the death. The killer’s mask and movements are similar to “Scream” but serial killer murderers just ain’t as much fun as they used to be! Lots of sex and drugs, little in the way of originality or plot coherence. Jerry Lawler, Ron Jeremy, and Linnea Quigley all pick up a couple of extra bucks in dumb cameo roles. Continue reading →
dlepikcom 