October 8, 2016 “Major Deal” (**1/2 out of four) was an occasionally very funny parody of the hip-hop scene in which an amateurish rapper named Mike Massacre (Keraun Harris) is fired from his job and is given an ultimatum by his baby’s mother to get signed by his 30th birthday or give up rap forever! Not enough laughs or storyline to sustain a full-length movie even at 70 minutes but hits the bullseye a few times and Harris is sharp in the lead. Director and writer Kevin Fredericks obviously has a lot of affection for rap and hip-hop but this covers much of the same satirical ground that Chris Rock’s “CB4” and Rusty Cundieff’s “Fear Of A Black Hat” covered two decades earlier and “Pop Star” covered much more sharply a few months ago. Continue reading →
October 8, 2016 “The Windmill” (**1/2 out of four) was an above-average horror thriller about a young Australian girl (Charlotte Beaumont) on the run from her past who ventures to Amsterdam where her bus breaks down in the middle of the wilderness and numerous windmills where various ancient sinister forces arise and all Hell gradually breaks loose. Strong atmosphere and production and Beaumont’s solid lead performance are plusses; unfortunately, the story becomes increasingly hokey and wears out its welcome after a while. Nothing that “The Blair Witch Project” didn’t cover and smother 17 years ago but still better than most horror junk and direct-to-Redbox releases nowadays. Continue reading →
October 8, 2016 “The Neon Demon” (* out of four) was an incomprehensible mess about an aspiring model (Elle Fanning) who moves to L.A. where she is immediately overwhelmed by it’s aura of excess and hedonism and becomes obsessed over by a group of beauty-obsessed women (led by Jena Malone) who will do whatever it takes to obtain her vitality and youth. Or something like that. Yet another exercise in style, gore, and incoherence from director Nicolas Winding Refn (“Only God Forgives”, “Drive”) who continues to confuse weirdness with originality and all-too-obviously copies the works of Stanley Kubrick and David Cronenberg without their resonance or power. Fanning (sister of Dakota) is blank and one-note in the lead. Keanu Reeves shows up for a few jaw-droppingly irrelevant scenes as a hotel manager. Continue reading →
October 8, 2016 “The Unspoken” (** out of four) was an ordinary, run-of-the-mill horror thriller about (yawn) a haunted house which remains vacant for 17 years until a new family moves in and havoc ensues. Strictly for those who’ve never seen “The Amityville Horror” or “Paranormal Activity” although there are a few spooky and chilling scenes. Well-made but obvious and empty. Far from the worst of its kind but “The Unoriginal” would have been a more apt title. Continue reading →
September 29, 2016 “Septembers Of Shiraz” (** out of four) was a ponderous war melodrama set during the Iranian revolution in which a prosperious Jewish family (Adrien Brody and Salma Hayek) abandon everything they have before they are caught up in the overwhelming revolution and their family is killed. Brody is strong as always but even he is let down by a script and story with limited emotional power and never shifts into high gear. Hayek is solid but sorely miscast and wasted as his wife. For a much richer and more powerful look at some of the same material, watch Brody’s previous war melodrama “The Pianist” instead. Striking music score by Mark Isham is an undeniable plus. Continue reading →
September 29, 2016 “Capsule” (** out of four) was a claustrophobic, monotonous outer-space thriller about a a British fighter pilot (Edmund Kingsley) who charters Britain’s first mission to space on his own but he’s literally left stranded when his capsule malfunctions and he’s drifting in space with limited communication with the U.S., the U.K., and Russia to help him. One-person story in the form of “The Martian” and “127 Hours” about a man racing against time to stay alive- but unfortunately there’s no Matt Damon or James Franco here. Kingsley (son of Ben) is good and holds the screen but he’s unable to sustain an hour-and-a-half of screen time on his own. Might have worked better as a stage play. Continue reading →
September 29, 2016 “I Am Hooligan” (*1/2 out of four) was an almost completely uninvolving melodrama set in the London underground about a young man (Mark Wingett) who becomes gradually brainwashed into thinking that the only way out of his dead-end existence is to ignore society’s conventions and become a football hooligan. He should have found his way out of this dead-end story instead. Grungy and grimey-looking movie cries out for the stylistics of Guy Ritchie whose movies look like award material next to this. “I Am A Loser” might have been a more apt title for this timewaster. Continue reading →
September 29, 2016 “Chalk It Up” (** out of four) was a lively but dumb comedy about a college student (Maddy Curley) who is dumped by her boyfriend and then attempts to get back at him by starting her own college gymnastics team but soon finds she surprises herself with her own capabilities and success. Gets maximum mileage from Curley and other’s enthusiastic performances but is still really thin stuff. Plays like an unsold sitcom pilot. Young girls and college students may like it more. Continue reading →
September 29, 2016 “Donald Trump: The Apprentice President” (** out of four) was a generally unrevealing docudrama of the controversial billionaire which traces his rise (or some would say fall) from worldwide businessman to Presidential candidate and showcases his (to put it mildly) extreme views and what it could mean for America. Regardless of whether you endorse or despise Trump, this movie tells you little about him you probably don’t already know. His presidential debate with Hillary last night and his shows “The Apprentice” were more informative and entertaining. Continue reading →
September 29, 2016 “Bridget Jones’ Baby” (*1/2 out of four) was an extremely annoying entry in this popular series starring Renee Zellwegger in her third go-round as Bridget Jones whose plans to re-focus on her career and on her single life are interrupted when she’s pregnant but she’s unsure of who the baby’s father is, leaving two possibilities (Patrick Dempsey and Colin Firth). Exact same premise is carried out with much more conviction and laughs on any episode of The Jerry Springer Show. Zellwegger ranges from charismatic to irritating with her fake English accent and both Firth and Dempsey are wasted. Abort this series once and for all. Continue reading →
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