February 16, 2024 “Box: Metaphor” (* out of four) was a metaphorically awful futuristic melodrama set in (yawn) yet another dystopian future in which a prisoner (Kasia Stelmach) is trapped inside a box which is the emblem of a systematic society of supervision and repression (or something like that) and she tries to keep her sanity and escape. Bewildering movie is a head-scratching bore from beginning to end with almost no dialogue and no story and thus no point. Eerie music score by Moksh Sharma is film’s only strong point. No relation to the 2009 Cameron Diaz/Richard Kelly disaster “The Box” but come to think of it is just as bad. Continue reading →
February 16, 2024 “Air Force One Down” (** out of four) was a mundane action melodrama about a determined rookie Secret Service agent (Katherine McNamara) who boards the title plane while protecting the President (Ian Bohen doing his best impersonation of Gavin Newsom) but has to battle treachery when turncoat agents and terrorists seize control of the plane. Initially appears to be a remake of “Air Force One” but the plane gets grounded pretty quickly and so does film in routine action stylistics. Still overall watchable, though, and has a proficient amount of hand-to-hand combat and gunplay. Continue reading →
February 16, 2024 “Amelia’s Children” (*1/2 out of four) was a misbegotten affair about a young man (Carloto Cotta) who searches for his family in Portugal and reunites with his long-lost mother and twin (Anabela Moreira and Alba Baptista) but soon finds that they have a dark secret that endangered their past and still endangers all of their futures together. Dour and downbeat film has a few effective moments but never builds to much and goes almost completely flat. Inauspicious directorial debut for noted producer and short filmmaker Gabriel Abrantes. Continue reading →
February 14, 2024 “Down The Chimney With A Shotgun” (* out of four) was an unbearably awful horror “comedy” about a tortured wife (Nikki Carlson) whose sleazy and abusive husband (Eddie Benevich) comes back from the dead dressed up as Santa Claus and prepares to wreak more havoc. In-your-face and sleazy and stupid movie made with poor production values which are the icing on the moldy cake. For no apparent reason, Benevich’s character speaks almost exactly like “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Continue reading →
February 12, 2024 “Attack Of The Meth Gator” (** out of four) was a cheesy horror thriller about a pile of meth drugs that are consumed by an alligator that turns them into a propulsive and murderous monster on the loose and the various townsfolk (LaRonn Marzett, Ray Acevedo, Vanessa Tamayo, and others) have to unite together to stop. Yet another movie obviously inspired by the surprise success of “Cocaine Bear” and won’t win any awards for script or originality but having said that it’s CGI effects are decent and it does provide some gruesome and gratifying kills. OK for what it is. Continue reading →
February 11, 2024 “Float” (**1/2 out of four) was a mildly endearing love story about a young Asian-American woman (Michelle Krusiec) who is saved from drowning by a Caucasian dedicated lifeguard (Robbie Amell) and they unexpectedly fall in love and start to develop feelings for one another, despite their cultural and critical differences. Moments of effectiveness and insight are offset by film’s meandering nature and predictability that dwarf its overall absorption. Both Krusiec and Anell are strong and have good chemistry together but are unable to keep film sustained and “afloat” for film’s running length. Continue reading →
February 11, 2024 “Tales Of Babylon” (** out of four) was a reheated recipe of Quentin Tarantino, Michael Mann, and (especially) Guy Ritchie fragments about various hitmen in London (Clive Russell, Aaron Cobham, Billie Gadsdon, and others) who find themselves all working on the same job and not knowing that all of them have different contracts against one another and have to find various ways to outwit and outsmart each other and stay alive. Writer/director Pelayo De Lario shows some intensity and talent but can’t transcend film’s derivations and story origins and the seams show obviously as film goes on (and on) for over two hours. Not bad but not “a tale” worth watching. Continue reading →
February 10, 2024 “Lover, Stalker, Killer” (**1/2 out of four) was an intriguing documentary about a mechanic (Ryan Avis) who tries online dating for the first time and met a psychotic woman (Jessica N. Johnson) who takes dangerous obsession and fatal attraction to the extreme and how it turned his life upside down. Grippingly told especially for anyone who’s been involved in the unpredictable (and unstable) world of online dating and maintains interest throughout but stops just short of hitting the mark. Never groundbreaking exactly but still overall worthwhile. Continue reading →
February 10, 2024 “Skeletons In The Closet” (*1/2 out of four) was overblown hooey about a husband (Terrence Howard) and wife (Valery M. Ortiz) whose daughter (Appy Pratt) is terminally ill so they make various dealings with religious and criminal figures (Udo Kier, Louis Mandylor, Clifton Powell, and Cuba Gooding Jr.) for the wife to be possessed to free their daughter from her sickness. Fine cast is wasted on tired material; isn’t it about time horror filmmakers moved on from films about ill and possessed children? Howard also co-wrote. Sally Kirkland picks up a few bucks in a few scenes as an elderly clairvoyant. Continue reading →
February 10, 2024 “The Shift” (* out of four) was a dizzyingly awful psychodrama about a man (Kristoffer Polaha) who meets a stranger (Neal McDonough) who prompts him into another dystopian world in which reality is fantasy and vice-versa and he must escape this to reconnect with his wife (Elizabeth Tabish) while other various strangers (Sean Astin, Emily Rose, and others) attempt to intercede. Bewildering and incomprehensible jumble rehashes elements from “The Matrix” and other sci/fi classics from over 25 years ago! And it’s cheesy and overlong to boot. It’s clunkers like this that resulted in the down “shift” in McDonough and Astin’s careers. Continue reading →
