Category: Uncategorized

“The Zeme” (* out of four) was a grade-Z horror thriller about a developer (Nick Preston) who relocates his family to a remote island where an ancient curse that permeates the land takes over his soul and turns him into a vicious killer. Preston’s performance is so awful it almost makes this worth watching for a few minutes for a few unintentional yuks but don’t take that recommendation too closely to heart. Surrounding cast is pretty subpar also so he shouldn’t feel too badly. Described as a mix of “The Shining” and “The Vanishing” in its press notes but that’s a bit of an overstatement.

Continue reading →

“Black Friday” (**1/2 out of four) was an engagingly silly and over-the-top black comedy about a group of toy-store employees (Devon Sawa, Ivana Baquero, Michael Jai White, and others) who must unite on the day after Thanksgiving when a parasite infects various shoppers and turns them into otherworldy zombies. Cheeky visual style and sardonic and cynical sense of humor is in the vein of “The Evil Dead” series (with Bruce Campbell cast as the toy-store manager); a little of this goes a long way but at least it never stops moving and trying for you to have a good time. Filmed in a former Babies ‘R’ Us in Massachusetts!

Continue reading →

“Candy Coated Christmas” (** out of four) was a syrupy and sugary confection about a woman (Molly McCook) returning to her old hometown to reunite with family and falls in love with a bakery owner (Ree Drummond) and soon the holiday sparks start flying. Typically sweet and uplifting Hallmark-style holiday production but has too much lard and empty calories to make it satisfying. Only for those who have to watch any and all Christmas movies on television and for Hallmark diehards.

Continue reading →

“Abduction Runs In The Family” (** out of four) was a hollow suspense thriller about a successful author (Charlotte Hare) who survived an abduction when she was younger; when her own daughter (Jessica Morris) is suddenly abducted and her former kidnapper (James Hyde) is released from prison, she finds she must turn back to him for help in finding her daughter and simultaneously settling her own personal and psychological demons from the past. Potentially intriguing material is smoothly and efficiently made but end result is pretty ordinary and predictable. You can only imagine what David Cronenberg or David Lynch might have done with rich psychodrama material like this.

Continue reading →

“Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City” (*1/2 out of four) was a thirdhand adaptation of the “Resident Evil” video game set in 1998 showing the origins of the mysterious Spencer Mansion and Raccoon City and how one of the main scientists (Neal McDonough) was attempting to take over mankind and numerous other citizens (Kaya Scodelario, Robbie Ammell, Tom Hopper, and others) attempted to stop him. Allegedly a reboot of the “Resident Evil” series and not a prequel but it’s really more-of-the-same and less with sludgy visuals and substandard and routine action that quickly becomes tedious. This series entry might me more faithful to the game series than any of Paul W.S. Anderson’s previous entries but so what?

Continue reading →

“Lost Outlaw” (** out of four) was a rote Western about a group of outlaws (David Novak and Darrell Mapson) who overtake a Chinese gold-mining camp in attempt to mine some of its treasure but one of the brothers has to soon question his morals and direction in life when he falls in love with one of the women (Trisha Cathey) whom he’s supposed to be holding hostage. Not bad, with some decent acting and filmmaking, but lacking the golden neo-Western touch of Sam Peckinpah or Walter Hill that it needed to make it rise above the routine. Based on a true story of the gold rush era of 1880.

Continue reading →

“Don’t Say It’s Name” (*1/2 out of four) was a lackadaisical horror thriller about an ex-park ranger (Sera-Lys McArthur), a troubled police officer (Madison Walsh), and other townsfolk (Samuel Marty, Catherine Gell, and others) who try to defeat (yawn) an evil spirit that’s been reincarnated and wants to eradicate anyone who gets in its way. Moody cinematography by Douglas Munro is a definite plus but film dawdles and meanders and tells a very familiar and formulaic horror story. “Don’t Bother” would be a better title for this timewaster.

Continue reading →

“The COVID Killer” (*1/2 out of four) was a muddled psychodrama about a serial killer terrorizing NYC who the media dubs the title killer and various cops and citizens (Jeff Knite, Paugh Shadow, Johnny Carecia, and others) try to stop him. Pointless mix of gritty minimalism and political social commentary. Film grafts actual news footage of Joe Biden and Andrew Cuomo but they appear no better here than in real life. Star Knite also wrote and directed but all this does is kill your time.

Continue reading →

“Christmas Thieves” (** out of four) was a half-hearted holiday comedy about two young kids (Lorenzo McGovern Zaini and Mia McGovern Zaini) home alone who mistake two bungling burglars (Tom Arnold and Michael Madsen) in Christmas suits as Santa Claus and the burglars actually ingratiate themselves with the children and read them holiday books! Not quite as stupid as it sounds but unlikely to become a Christmas classic anytime; the animated interludes are pretty cute but rest of film is pretty stale. Both Arnold and Madsen have been in far worse but at this point they may want to ask Santa for some better scripts.

Continue reading →

“Best Sellers” (** out of four) was an only mildly endearing comic melodrama about a cranky and retired author (Michael Caine) who finally publishes his final book and reluctantly embarks on one last book and publicity tour to help out his young publisher (Aubrey Plaza). A great role for Caine who keeps film going with his usual effortless charisma but story and charaterizations are awfully thin; Caine himself played a similar role in (the better) “Deathtrap” and also “The Quiet American.” Caine has said this may be his last ever film-role at 88 but this is far from his “best.”

Continue reading →