Category: Uncategorized

“The Florist” (*1/2 out of four) was a listless melodrama about a young free-spirit (Rebecca Murphy) who begins to make her living selling edible flowers to various clients and business owners in L.A. turning her into a successful capitalist who has to question her own meaning in life. Adapted from a short story in 2014 and short is what this should have stayed. Murphy’s earnest performance helps but film is wilted by its molasses and meandering pacing and nonexistent storyline.

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“Jurassic Hunt” (** out of four) was a trifling action thriller about a female special forces agent (Courtney Loggins) who joins forces with a crew of male military trophy hunters (Ruben Pla, Dan Sinclair, and others) in a remote wilderness park who hunt and kill genetically enhanced dinosaurs but (naturally) things go astray when the dinosaurs fight back and threaten to break out of the reserve and threaten worldwide destruction. Yet another knockoff of the far superior “Jurassic Park” and “Jurassic World” but having said that- the visual effects aren’t bad (especially given film’s threadbare budget) and some of the kills are decently staged. Far from the worst of its various clones but by this point this genre needs some fresh DNA.

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“Don’t Breathe 2” (** out of four) was a pallid sequel to the 2016 sleeper hit showing the continuing misadventures of the blind Norman Nordstrom (Stephen Lang) who lives in quiet solace until his home is besieged yet again by home invader intruders and he has to spring back into action and kick ass. Best thing about the film (much like the original) is Lang who does his best to hold film together but film is lukewarm and predictable and bizarrely changes the main character from a villain to an unlikely action hero! Don’t bother and you may as well just watch the original again.

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“Snake Eyes- G.I. Joe: Origins” (*** out of four) was a sleek spin-off of the “G.I. Joe” series about the title character Snake Eyes (Henry Golding) showing his origins when his father is murdered to a deadly martial artist to an enforcer for the Yakuza mob to his gradual transition to a crime-fighting superhero for the G.I. Joe organization. Moves in fits and starts and has a few lulls in the middle and towards the end but always revs back up in time with explosive action. Deadly motorcycle chase at the end is a real wow! Not exactly a bullseye but definitely superior to the previous 2 “G.I. Joe” films.

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“Overrun” (** out of four) was a murky international espionage melodrama about a former military extractions expert (Omid Zader) who learns that his only hope to save his sister and others in his family is to track down a mysterious briefcase but soon finds that various underworld figures (Bruce Dern, Nicholas Turturro, and others) and the police (William Katt, Johnny Messner, and Haley Strode) are on his trail. Fairly fast moving but film itself is “overrun” by too many characters and plot complications and it soon bogs down. Much of the rock-solid supporting cast are wasted.

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“Satan’s Servant” (* out of four) was a dismayingly cheesy and low-rent horror thriller about two teenagers (Josephine Thompson and Ethan Gomez Zahnley) who investigate the disappearance of their friend and stumble onto a satanic plot in their small-town that could spell worldwide destruction. Utterly predictable and by-the-numbers and lacking in any sense of grandeur or thrills. Yet another schlock imitation of early Spielberg (particularly “Close Encounters Of The Third Kind”) that’s a real timewaster.

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“The Demented” (0 stars out of four) was a noxious horror thriller set in the underworld of sex trafficking in which a group of sickos buy and sell young girls continuously to the highest bidders and film their sexual abuse and murders as snuff films and one determined female detective (Felissa Rose) begins to investigate. Unwatchably ugly and sordid without any redeeming insights or even entertaininment value and worthlessly exploits a severe and significant worldwide problem. Bret “The Hitman” Hart makes his acting debut as an entrepreneur of snuff films; why he picked this film for his debut shows he may be the one whose really “demented.”

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“Eyes Without A Face” (0 stars out of four) was a blindingly awful horror mess about a young man (Dakota Shapiro) suffering from agoraphobia who lives with an online blogger and struggling actor (Luke Cook) and they both secretly hack into the webcams of young women but soon come to suspect that one of them is a serial killer. Inept timewaster mashes your face in ugliness and amateurish sleaze for nearly two hours. It’s movies like these that make you feel like taking a shower. Allegedly inspired by the Billy Idol song of the same name but other Idol songs “Endless Sleep”, “Scream”, and (especially) “Dead On Arrival” are more apt descriptions of sitting through this.

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“The Swarm” (** out of four) was a turgid melodrama about a feisty single mother (Suliane Brahim) who is determined to save her family farm from bankruptcy and begins a business of breeding and cultivating edible grasshoppers but she begins to grow an increasingly compulsive and self-destructive obsession with them while ignoring the plights and problems of her children (Marie Narbonne and Raphael Romand). Holds you in its grip thanks to Brahim’s strong performance but story is bizarre to say the least and never very compelling or moving. At least it’s better than the Godawful 1978 Michael Caine thriller of the same name.

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“Crime Story” (** out of four) was an unfocused crime melodrama about a dying old man (Richard Dreyfuss) who discovers he has terminal cancer and attempts to seek retribution on the thieves who have destroyed his life while simultaneously trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter (Mira Sorvino) who has become a cop. Heavy-handed mixture of the slick and the sentimental never fully connects and catches fire. Dreyfuss is miscast as a hard-boiled gangster bent on revenge; Sorvino is good as usual but has played similar role too many times by now.

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