February 6, 2021 “Wrong Turn” (* out of four) was an abysmal remake of the 2003 cult classic about hikers (Emma Dumont, Charlotte Vega, and others) in backwoods Appalachia who are confronted by “The Foundation”- a group of mutant hillbillies who have lived in the mountains and have killed others for hundreds of years; elsewhere one of the girls’ relatives (Matthew Modine) starts snooping around for answers as to her disappearance. With all the superior craft and tension of the original removed- what’s left is a generic and dull rednecks-in-the-woods story which doesn’t even measure up to any of the original “Wrong Turn” sequels! Incredibly, Alan McElroy who wrote the original wrote this one too but along the way his writing talent appears to have taken a wrong turn of its own. Continue reading →
February 6, 2021 “Red Woods” (1/2 out of four) was a practically worthless horror thriller about a group of young friends (Michael Barnett, Brian E. Stead, Jacquelyn Ware, and others) who travel to the backwoods of Appalachia to capture footage of abandoned houses but soon find themselves massacred by (what else?) a backwoods hillbilly intent on blood and destruction and they all have to fight for their lives. Distressingly low-rent and cheap but (worse) tedious and boring and doesn’t even offer any thrills or scares in its place. Looks (at times) like it was filmed with someone’s cell-phone camera. Continue reading →
February 5, 2021 “Human Hibachi” (* out of four) was an unappetizing horror melodrama about a man (Sopheaktra Theng) who films the 30th birthday of his girlfriend (Elizabeth Gaynor) while out with their friends (Carmine Giordano and Carley Harper) but soon find that the restaurant they’re eating at is cooking and consuming human flesh and that they’re on the menu. Disgusting and stupid enough in equal measure to give anyone indigestion and the low-rent minimalism and production is no help. Writer/director Mario Cerrito III seems to be trying for macabre humor and irony but it backfires pretty badly; watch 1989’s “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, And Her Lover” for same story with much more style and sizzle. Continue reading →
February 5, 2021 “The Arsonist” (** out of four) was a flat thriller set in England in which a seasoned detective (George Everett-Burton) is teamed up with a new partner (Jonny Brookes) to take down the title mastermind criminal and they have to overcome each other’s differences and the corrupt police force to proceed. Overly solemn thriller has some good characterizations and performances but (pun intended) doesn’t catch fire as it should. Even the English scenery and surroundings look pretty drab although this isn’t bad considering it was made by 17-year olds! Continue reading →
February 5, 2021 “Terror At Bigfoot Pond” (0 stars out of four) was a Sasquatchean mess about a group of college students (Emerald Albritton, Marcus DeVries, Shoshannah Gilbert) who go on a camping trip in the wilderness (cue ominous music) and find they intruded on the territory of Big Foot and he stalks and slashes them all one by one. Cinematically- this is below amateur night; Big Foot himself seems like a character in a dime-store horror costume and most of the acting and filmmaking are atrocious. Unintentionally funny at times but by no means is that a recommendation. Continue reading →
February 4, 2021 “Markham” (* out of four) was a startlingly awful melodrama about a man (Tony Coughlan) who struggles to survive a strange and surreal night with mysterious occurrences in a small fishing village in England which puts his (and the audience’s) sanity to the test. Don’t look for more plot than that or much else. Film is so incoherent and so jumbled you could likely watch it in reverse and it would make just as much sense. Incredibly, this is based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft but looks like someone’s bad home movies. Continue reading →
February 4, 2021 “A World Of Worlds” (* out of four) was an incomprehensible sci/fi mess about an evil warlock (Clinton Bailiff) who now rules a magical planet called Ressear; to conquer this fallen empire a female witch (Daphnee Avril Bless) must find 4 reincarnated bodies but doesn’t anticipate the subsequent problems this results in for her time continuity and existence. Laughable movie filled with tacky C.G.I. work and awful acting needed a large-scale budget to have a prayer of coming off but instead comes off as unwatchable. Lame title is only the tip of the iceberg on this one. Continue reading →
February 3, 2021 “News Of The World” (*** out of four) was a delicately told historical melodrama about a Civil War veteran (Tom Hanks) who agrees to deliver a girl (Helena Zengel) to her aunt and uncle against her will but along the way they develop a closeness and bond that neither expected as they face grave dangers along the frontier and try to settle to a place they can call home. Not a great film and lags a little at times but Hanks’ usual dependable charisma, magnificent cinematography by Dariusz Wolski, and some effective moments (particularly towards the end) make it a worthwhile journey. A gentle change-of-pace from writer/director Paul Greengrass in making his first Western; this marks his and Hanks’ second collaboration after “Captain Phillips.” Continue reading →
February 3, 2021 “Hellkat” (* out of four) was a lusterless horror thriller about a fallen MMA fighter (Sarah T. Cohen) who is stuck in a netherworld where she has to re-enter the ring and win a no-holds barred death tournament in a competition involving man, beast, demons, and otherworldly creatures of life. Or something like that. Bewildering opening starts off as a low-rent horror movie and then shifts into an incoherent martial-arts action story towards the end and altogether it’s a muddled mess. Getting to the end of this dreck is the equivalent of surviving an MMA beatup. Ben Collin’s arty cinematography is film’s sole virtue. Continue reading →
February 3, 2021 “Cam Girls” (*1/2 out of four) was a sleazy soft-core adult melodrama about three friends (Abi Casson Thompson, Barbara Dabson, and Stephanie Lodge) who experience sexual frustration with the lockdown for COVID and start having interactive virtual chats in which they simulate and re-experience their previous sexual escapades. Plenty of sex and nudity for those who want it but even that gets to be tedious and tiresome after a while, just like the rest of the movie. S & M fans may be curious to check this out but they may as well just as well watch Cinemax late at night. Continue reading →
dlepikcom 