December 8, 2018 “Hornet” (*1/2 out of four) was a dismal action thriller which just about stings you with its awfulness about an alien race who invades Earth and begins to brainwash humans into senseless acts of destruction and how humanity must rely on the title robot Hornet to save Earth and restore civilization. Just an umpteen amount of ideas borrowed from umpteen other movies (“The Transformers” and “Alien” just to name a few) except those movies are far better than this forgettable trifle. Film doesn’t so much end as stop but no one will be complaining. Continue reading →
December 7, 2018 “Mortal Engines” (** out of four) was a joyless adaptation of Phillip Reeve’s blockbuster novel set in a post-apocalyptic world about a young man (Robert Sheehan) and a masked assailant (Hera Hilmar) who are both thrown out of their predatorial moving city by the powerful and evil Head Of The Guild Of Historians (Hugo Weaving) and have to fend for themselves and try to enact revenge. Opens and closes with spectacular action scenes and is filled with sumptuous visual effects through-out but story sputters to a halt in the middle and becomes jumbled and dull. One of the producers was Peter Jackson and you can see his blueprint, especially in film’s large-scale action scenes. Weaving is good but he was more entertaining more-or-less playing the same role in “The Matrix” almost two decades ago. Continue reading →
December 7, 2018 “Alice In Murderland” (* out of four) was a startlingly awful horror flick which is nowhere near as clever as its title. A sorority girl named Alice (Malerie Grady) is celebrating her birthday with her sorority sisters (Marlene McCohen, Kelly Kula, and others) who throw her a “wonderland” themed party which is crashed by a serial killer on the prowl. Lame writing and filmmaking sinks this all the way and terrible acting turns this into a real horror show. Lewis Carroll would be gagging if he saw what has now become of his original “Alice” material. Continue reading →
December 7, 2018 “Payday” (*1/2 out of four) was a lackluster independent melodrama about an inept criminal (Derek Babb) who holds up a small-town diner which soon spirals out of control into a hostage crisis. Oh- did I forget to mention that his girlfriend (Lara Jean) is the manager of the diner and she mastermined the theft in the first place to cover up her own embezzlement? Potentially twisty and intriguing material is bungled by low-grade filmmaking and substandard writing and characterizations. You can only imagine what David Mamet or Michael Mann may have done with this material but this is strikingly similar to Kevin Spacey’s directorial debut “Albino Alligator.” Former WWE star Bishop Stevens shows up as a hostage negotiator but the only reason he must have taken this is for a quick payday. Continue reading →
December 6, 2018 “Elves” (*1/2 out of four) was a slapdash horror thriller about a group of friends (Stephanie Marie Baggett, Deanna Grace Congo, Amy Jo Guthrie, and others) who discover ancient elves locked in a cursed chest and unknowingly unleash them on the world and find out that it’s going to be one bloody Christmas this year. Chintzy movie is really dwarfed by stupid characters and writing and annoying performances. Christmas-themed horror movies like these are enough to make anyone reach for a stiff shot of eggnog. Continue reading →
December 6, 2018 “Dead Trigger: Unkilled” (** out of four) was a mildly entertaining action melodrama about a mysterious virus that threatens to eradicate mankind and how a former soldier (Dolph Lundgren) is put in charge of recruiting a group of renegade sharpshooters and former criminals to stop the virus and stop the zombies which threaten worldwide apocalypse. Umpteenth derivation of both “28 Days Later” and “Resident Evil” and also “The Walking Dead” but Lundgren’s usual wooden performance is put to good use here and he’s well-cast and the movie at least never stops moving. Much better than most of Lundgren’s other direct-to-DVD schlock although film’s ending is a real letdown. Continue reading →
December 4, 2018 “Night Zero” (*1/2 out of four) was a boring horror thriller about six couples in Pittsburgh (Georin Aquila, Mike Dargatis, Dave Petti, and others) who are barricaded in a countryside home when a massive catastrophe occurs which leads to military involvement and the threat of worlwide apocalypse. Title is fitting and appropriate since it provides practically zero in the way of scares or thrills or originality. Yet another rip-off of “Night Of The Living Dead” which can’t come close to its intensity and even falls short of many of its remakes. Continue reading →
December 4, 2018 “Bad Company” (*1/2 out of four) was an inept action melodrama about a group of troubled teens (Booboo Stewart, Giselle Bonilla, Kyle Massey, and others) in a boot-camp who encounter a team of terrorists who are trying to overtake a nearby nuclear power plant and find they are the only ones who can stop them and prevent (yawn) world domination. In dire of need of a coherent script and direction, and characters who are halfway likeable and intelligent. “Toy Soldiers” and “Red Dawn” told more-or-less the same story with a lot more skill and conviction 2-3 decades ago. Continue reading →
December 3, 2018 “Death At A Barbecue” (* out of four) was a deadly horror fiasco about a group of suburban friends and whiners (Kim Paris, Seregon O’Dassey, Kelly LeBneger, and others) who get together for a barbecue and a killer amongst them gradually kills them off and begins put them out of their (and the audience’s) misery. You’ll be filled with misery as well, by the end of this mess. Terrible acting and low-rent filmmaking make this a really brutal watch. This looks as if it were shot by someone’s cell-phone camera. Continue reading →
December 2, 2018 “Twisted” (** out of four) was an obvious, predictable “Fatal Attraction” knockoff about a therapist (Elisabeth Harnois) who realizes that her new patient (Kimberly-Sue Murray) is the ex-girlfriend of her fiancee (Morgan Kelly) and what’s more- she begins to insinuate herself in their lives by getting a job with her fiancee and begins psychologically and physically harassing them. Reasonably well-made and well-acted to hold your attention but too much of the dialogue is overheated and silly and final third becomes laughable. Final plot twist in the last scene is pretty hard to swallow. Continue reading →
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