Category: Uncategorized

“Bigfoot Horror Camp” (0 stars out of four) was an unendurably (and indescribably) awful horror-comedy about an unknown beast in a really terrible gorilla suit who begins to terrorize the residents of a nudist colony out in the desert and then the Feds step in and send in their equally moronic “Big Foot expert” to solve the case. If you make it through the first 15 minutes, you may make it through the entire movie. Excruciatingly low-grade filmmaking makes this look like at times like a high-school production and some of the terrible acting really has to be seen to be believed but that is by no means a recommendation.

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“Fahrenheit 451” (*** out of four) was a stirring remake of Ray Bradbury’s classic novel set in a dystopian future in which firemen are ordered to seize and burn books; one long-serving and decorated fireman (Michael B. Jordan) follows orders without question from his friend and superior (Michael Shannon) until he meets a young woman (Sofia Boutella) who forces him to question his job and question the state of free society. Riveting story of fascism, oppression, and tyrannical ruling is framed by director Rahmin Barani into a futuristic nightmare similar to “Blade Runner” and anchored by Jordan’s usual first-rate performance. Shannon is also dynamite and him and Jordan work well off one another.

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“The Pale Man” (*1/2 out of four) was a pale imitation of “The Shining” and too many other movies to mention about a young teacher’s assistant (Taylor Bostwick) who gets stuck in a middle-of-nowhere small town in which a mysterious illness is rampant and she becomes stranded at a scary hotel where she begins to fear for her life and her sanity. Sporadically creepy in the first half but story framework is routine and film drags on too long at nearly two hours with not enough scares or thrills to keep it going. Numerous horror cliches abound, including the redneck who works at a gas station and a nosy hotel worker.

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“Taco Shop” (*1/2 out of four) was a stale teen comedy about a young taco-shop owner (Tyler Posey) whose business and livelihood is threatened by a rival gourmet taco truck which opens across the street leading to fierce competition and all-out war. Scattershot chuckles are dissipated by silly script which runs out of story and steam very quickly and may give you indigestion. Posey’s likeable performance is wasted. One-time great character actor Eric Roberts shows up in a minor role as one of Posey’s co-workers and mentors.

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“Puppet Master: Axis Termination” (*1/2 out of four) was the 11th movie in this endless series for anyone besides me whose keeping count which began in the ’80’s and probably should have stayed there. This time around, the heroic band of lethal puppets join forces with a secret team of allied operatives with master psychic powers to face off against Nazi adversaries and collections of other vicious puppets with nothing less than the fate of the world at stake. Cheesy and dumb and proud of it- this is only for die-hard fans of the series or lifetime subscribers to Fangoria magazine. It might be time for “termination” of this series.

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“The Beautiful Ones” (**1/2 out of four) was a stylish but uneasy melodrama about a mob enforcer (Ross McCall) who falls in love with a woman from an opposite family (Fernanda Andrade) in the midst of a turf war and has to rescue her from the clutches of the family and friends he grew up with which leads to problems for both of them. Mix of martial arts, violent action, and mob underworld drama doesn’t fully gel and hang together but fast pace and some good action scenes help keep it watchable. McCall’s lead performance ranges from charismatic to one-note which could describe the film itself as well.

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“Deadpool 2” (*** out of four) was a fun sequel to the 2016 smash about the continuing adventures of Wade Wilson aka Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) who has now become a worldwide mercenary for hire who brings together a team of rogue fellow mutants to protect a precocious young boy (Julian Dennison) with supernatural abilities when he is threatened by the time-travelling mutant Cable (Josh Brolin) who in turn also threatens world destruction. Hits a few lulls here and there in the middle but has enough dazzling effects, whiplashing action scenes, and Reynold’s wisecracks to make this equal to, if not better than, the original. Love those musical interludes and soundtrack selections! As usual, this features plenty of Marvel supporting characters and actors (Brad Pitt, James McAvoy, Hugh Jackman) as a bonus.

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“A Violent Man” (*1/2 out of four) was a seedy, unpleasant story about a small-time MMA fighter (Thomas Q. Jones) who finds himself in a fight for his life and on the run when a girl (Denise Richards) he meets for a one night stand turns up dead. Jones’ character is so off-putting and unlikeable at times that it’s hard to care what becomes of him and as a result it’s hard to care about the movie itself. MMA fans would best watch “Kingdom” or “JRE” re-runs instead.

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“Overboard” (*1/2 out of four) was an unnecessary remake of the 1987 Kurt Russell/Goldie Hawn comedy that wasn’t exactly crying out to be remade; this update switches the gender of the main characters but don’t expect any more originality than that. Once again, a spoiled business owner (Eugenio Derbez) falls overboard and becomes the target of revenge from his tormented employee (Anna Faris) until they gradually realize that- shucks- they kinda like each other after all. Faris’ bright performance is film’s one positive but scene after scene lands with a thud and the film itself goes overboard with dumb dialogue and silly scenarios. Nice ending tries to steer film back on course but it’s too late.

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