October 8, 2022 “Hellraiser” (* out of four) was a horrendously dull remake of the 1987 Clive Barker classic about a young woman (Odessa A’zion) who stumbles upon an ancient box unaware that it carves up the evil entity of the Cenobites led by Pinhead (Jamie Clayton) who want to eradicate mankind. In this version Pinhead is a woman but that’s about all that distinguishes this from previous entries, as story is senseless and (worst of all) boring. Original series creator Clive Barker served as co-producer but this still feels like Hell to sit through. Continue reading →
October 7, 2022 “Ash And Bone” (* out of four) was a miserable horror thriller about a rebellious teen (Angelina Danielle Cama) whose father and stepmom (Harly Wallen and Kaiti Wallen) decide to move her into the countryside for quiet bonding time but they are soon besieged by (yawn) an urban legend involving cannabilistic and sadistic rednecks and she needs to utilize her volatility and instability to fight back and help them all stay alive. It’s grade-Z movies like these that make you almost wish “Deliverance” and “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” had never been made. Both Harly and Kaiti are real life husband-and-wife which is a bit curious since they have no chemistry together onscreen. Continue reading →
October 7, 2022 “Operation Seawolf” (** out of four) was a a vaporously generic WWII movie set towards the end of the war in which a grizzled submarine commander (Dolph Lundgren) was called back to lead a group of skippers on a German U-boat to attack NYC while various American military (Frank Grillo and Hiram A. Murray) plot out their return defense attack. Highly routine story covers all-too-familiar territory and is dressed up with a big-name cast but Lundgren is wooden as usual and Grillo is wasted once again in an easy-paycheck role. Film’s CGI effects are mostly tacky but there are some impressive external and aerial shots. Continue reading →
October 7, 2022 “Mr. Harrigan’s Phone” (**1/2 out of four) was an imperfect but endearing melodrama about a lonely teenager (Jaeden Martell) who befriends a reclusive billionaire (Donald Sutherland) who soon dies but thereafter the teenager starts receiving texts from his phone which sets the stage for an onslaught of twists and turns in his life. Story is meandering and plodding at first but becomes more involving as it veers from coming-of-age story to elements of Hitchcock thriller and also a vengeance drama. Mitchell’s likability helps compensate for film’s rough changes in structure and mood. You’d never guess this was based on a short story from Stephen King but this is overall one of his better film adaptions in a while and is in the pulp vein of “Stand By Me” and “It”. Continue reading →
October 5, 2022 “Sissy” (** out of four) was an uninspired youthful melodrama about teen best friends (Aisha Dee and Hannah Barlow) who run into each other after more than a decade; one of them invites the other along on a bash for her bachelorette party but the other soon realizes they are going to be stuck in a cabin with their former school bully (Emily De Margheriti) who wants revenge. Many critics loved this new take on independence, bullying, empowerment, and the ties that bind but I’m not one of them. Plodding film meanders along with only the sincere performances of its leads to keep it afloat. Star Barlow was also one of the co-writers and co-directors. Continue reading →
October 5, 2022 “Croc” (*1/2 out of four) was a lumbering horror thriller set in the English countryside about a soon-to-be-married couple (Sian Altman and George Nettleton) whose wedding is mauled by an angry and hungry crocodile who starts to devour all of the guests and they realize only they can stop it. Anyone who knows science and wildlife knows that crocodiles need warm weather to survive and the English countryside is notorious for its cold weather but that’s the least of film’s problems; film looks drab and plain and even the crocodile-attack scenes aren’t all that inspired. Watch “Crocodile Dundee” again instead. Continue reading →
October 5, 2022 “Don’t Worry Darling” (**1/2 out of four) was an elegant but empty melodrama set in the 1950’s in which a housewife (Florence Pugh) begins to suspect that the utopian idyllistic community and existence that her and her husband (Harry Styles) and friends (Chris Pine, Olivia Wilde, and others) isn’t as perfect as it appears as cracks begin to appear that show it’s disturbing underlining and reality. It’s easy to be seduced by director Wilde’s exquisite set design and color and uniformly strong cast but others may find that this story is a bit too similar to “1984”, elements of “Blue Velvet”, and (especially) “The Stepford Wives.” Definitely a showing for Wilde’s talent again on both sides of the screen but next time she should work with more original and fresher material. Continue reading →
October 2, 2022 “The Greatest Beer Run Ever” (*** out of four) was a winning comedy drama based on a true story set in 1967 in which a blue-collar NYC guy (Zac Efron) became tired of going nowhere in his life and decided to make a difference in the Vietnam war by bringing beer to his serving friends and a multitude of other troops and became enveloped and involved in the war himself. Efron has never been more charismatic and engaging and the Farrelly Brothers offer pertinent period detail and give solid supporting roles to an unrecognizable Bill Murray as a neighborhood bartender, Russell Crowe as a war journalist, and others. Film sags a little once Efron does actually make it to Vietnam but regains its footing for a heartfelt conclusion. Continue reading →
October 2, 2022 “The Razing” (*1/2 out of four) was an uninvolving melodrama about a group of childhood friends (Jack Whooton, Dawson Mullen, and others) who regroup for a get-together but find that old wounds resurface which starts to tear away at the fabric of their relationship and their sanity as well. Writer/director J. Arcane seems to be trying for a psychological/horror version of “The Big Chill” but he should have remembered to include likeable characters and a coherent script. Might have worked better as a play, instead of a feature-film. Continue reading →
October 2, 2022 “Devil’s Workshop” (*1/2 out of four) was an anemic horror thriller about a struggling actor (Timothy Grananderos) desperate for work who finally lands a new role in a horror thriller and does research on this with a demonologist (Radha Mitchell) at her house but soon finds out that there might be more than meets the eye and she might be trying to demonically possess him. Interesting storyline of dark irony is bungled by tedious execution and monotonous script. Feature-length debut from noted short-film director Chris Von Hoffmann but judging from this effort he may need to go back to the filmmaking “workshop.” Continue reading →