September 27, 2022 “Blank” (*1/2 out of four) was an aptly titled timewaster about a desperate writer (Rachel Shelley) who goes to a retreat to attempt to cure her writer’s block under the care of an A.I. humanoid (Heida Reed) but soon it malfunctions and (yawn) imprisons her from the outside world with no way out. A movie about artificial intelligence which fittingly enough is artificial without hardly any intelligence- and is also unbelievably dull. A lackluster pastiche of ideas borrowed from Kubrick, Cameron, and Phillip K. Dick that feels made by machines without any human touch. Continue reading →
September 25, 2022 “Bandit” (*** out of four) was a solidly engaging melodrama about a career criminal (Josh Duhamel) who escapes from prison to Canada and tries to start a new life with a new woman (Elisha Cuthbert) that he meets but finds he can’t leave his bank-robberies behind him and he proceeds to set a record for amount of robberies committed while being watched and tracked by a federal task force (Nestor Carbonnel and Swen Temmel). Duhamel has never been better and him and Cuthbert have strong chemistry that keep this light-hearted caper film breezy and entertaining. Mel Gibson has a key role as one of Duhamel’s partners. Continue reading →
September 25, 2022 “They Crawl Beneath” (*1/2 out of four) was a static sci/fi thriller about a young cop (Joseph Almani) who is trapped at home when an earthquake pins him beneath his car and he soon finds out that strange and squishy creatures are emerging from the fissures in the ground and he has to struggle to survive and maintain his sanity. Imagine “Tremors” almost set in the confines of one room and you pretty much have an exact idea of what to expect here. Film’s title is ironic since it “crawls” a lot on its own. Continue reading →
September 25, 2022 “Section 8” (**1/2 out of four) was an overall efficient action melodrama about a former soldier (Ryan Kwanten) who is sprung from prison and recruited by a shadowy government agency (Dolph Lundgren, Dermot Mulroney, Scott Adkins, and others) but realizes too-little/too-late they are sinister and vindictive and he turns against them and goes on the run. Routine story involving various “Bourne” elements is enlivened by strong cast and overall fast pace. Mickey Rourke shows up in a minor role as Kwanten’s boss; he played a similar character in 1987’s “A Prayer For The Dying.” Continue reading →
September 25, 2022 “The Enforcer” (** out of four) was a sleazy pulp-action melodrama about a recently released underground enforcer (Antonio Banderas) who finds his conscience in crisis when he realizes his sadistic boss (Kate Bosworth) is running a cybersex trafficking ring and he has to risk his legacy and career by attempting to save a young girl (Zolee Griggs) caught in the middle of this ring. Banderas’ usual slow-burn charisma and solid performance from Mojean Aria as his loyal sidekick help keep this watchable but they are overtaken by overall plot unpleasantness. Bosworth is miscast; 2 Chainz is solid as a thuggish pimp but he oughta “watch out” for better scripts and roles next time. Continue reading →
September 24, 2022 “To The Moon” (*1/2 out of four) was a lifeless melodrama about a young couple (Scott Friend and Madeline Morgenweck) who embark on a weekend of healing which is upended by his mysterious brother (Will Brill) who shows up and begins to distort their sense of reality and then the fabric of their relationship together. Striking and eerie cinematography from Dan Debrey is a superior plus but film is otherwise a languid bore. A romantic love triangle is hard to get involved in when you don’t care about even one of the characters. This one deserves to be kicked all the way to the moon. Continue reading →
September 24, 2022 “Ten Tricks” (** out of four) was a curiously aloof and uninvolving comedy melodrama set over the course of one night in which the madam (Lea Thompson) of a local and popular brothel intends to get pregnant at her older age while an over-the-hill magician (Sam Hennings) across the street ponders changing his life as well. Promising comedy starts off well, with snappy dialogue and an excellent performance from Thompson, but then slows down and gets monotonous and starts to develop an annoying case of the cutes. Excellent black-and-white cinematography from John Bailey is a definite standout throughout but you wish film had more “tricks” up its sleeve. Continue reading →
September 23, 2022 “Mona Lisa And The Blood Moon” (*1/2 out of four) was a pretty unbearable horror thriller about a young girl (Jeong Jong-seo) with unusual telekinetic powers who escapes from a mental asylum and tries to make it on her own on the seedy streets of New Orleans but is tracked down by a hard-nosed cop (Craig Robinson) and befriended by a down-on-her-luck stripper (Kate Hudson- what the hell is she doing in this movie?). Cheesy and tacky thriller soon sputters to a halt. Is this what Hudson’s career has come to??? Continue reading →
September 21, 2022 “Pearl” (*1/2 out of four) was a drably done horror melodrama set in 1918 showing the back-story of Pearl (Mia Goth) and how she grew up in an isolated farmhouse under the domineering hand of her strict mother and how she yearned for a glamorous life like she’s seen in the movies and how her ambitions, temptations, and repressions drove her to an insane state of murder. Yet another unnecessary horror follow-up- this is actually a prequel to last year’s “X” although the movie it might remind you most of is M. Night Shymalan’s “The Village.” Either way, it’s snail-paced and glum. Goth’s bravura performance is film’s only asset. Continue reading →
September 21, 2022 “Jeepers Creepers: Reborn” (*1/2 out of four) was an abortive attempt to restart this series about a young woman (Sydney Craven) traveling with her boyfriend (Imran Adams) to a horror festival in which she starts having disturbing premonitions about the title Creeper (Jarrau Benjamin) and how his presence may be centered around her existence. Fourth film entry in this inexplicably popular series is crummy and silly. For anyone wondering, the Creeper here looks like Freddy Kruegger dressed as the killer from “I Know What You Did Last Summer” but is nowhere near as creepy as either. Continue reading →