October 30, 2022 “House Of Clowns” (0 stars out of four) was an excruciating exercise in amateur-hour about a series of contestants (Brandi Facholas, Jon Marshall, Justin Milani, and others) who agree to take part in a traveling haunted house in which they are imprisoned overnight with a series of sadistic killer clowns. Trust me- by the end of this, you’ll feel imprisoned right along with them. The kind of horror movie that looks like it was made with $100 and a cell-phone, with dreadful acting and filmmaking and production values. Compared to this, the recent killer-clown saga “Terrifier 2” look like Hitchcock in his prime. Continue reading →
October 30, 2022 “The Lair” (*1/2 out of four) was a hopelessly derivative pastiche of “Alien”, “28 Days Later”, and too many others to think of about an air-force pilot (Charlotte Kirk) who is shot down over Afghanistan and finds refuge in an underground solitary base which she soon finds out has been overtaken by an alien creature bent on worldwide havoc and mankind’s destruction. Film moves fast enough but hardly offers anything with originality or for that matter scares or pulsating excitement. Directed by Neil Marshall who in better times directed “The Descent” but whose talent appears to be sadly descending since then. Continue reading →
October 29, 2022 “Sawed Off” (* out of four) was a bewildering horror suspense-thriller comedy that fails at all 4 genres about two hunters (JOdy Barton and Trae Ireland) who both have feelings for the same woman (Eva Hamilton) and go hunting in the middle of the wilderness where they keep killing one another but they somehow keep coming back to life and don’t know whether they’re going insane or some sinister forces are at play. Opening scenes are just fine but film soon goes off the rails and becomes incomprehensible and just plain stupid. Material like this cries out for the Sam Raimi of “Evil Dead” and his ghoulish touch. Continue reading →
October 28, 2022 “Headless Horseman” (* out of four) was a scoreless trifle about a young man (Nic Caruccio) who is decapitated and left for dead but makes a deal with the devil (Michael Pare looking hungover and bored) to return back to life to seek vengeance on the drug-dealing murderer (Ethan Daniel Corbett) who killed him and his girlfriend (Amanda Jones). Ridiculous story is made even worse by tacky filmmaking and terrible performances. Promoted as a horror film but actually rips off the action drama “Ghost Rider” (right down to its poster art). Fans of either genre will likely have more fun watching “The Horse Whisperer” instead. Continue reading →
October 28, 2022 “Terror Train” (** out of four) was a serviceable remake of the 1980 cult “classic” about a student (Robyn Alomar) who boards a train on Halloween eve, unaware that a psychotic stalker is also on board and starts killing the passengers and guests one by one. Yet another unnecessary horror remake which is pretty routine and by-the-numbers although it’s competently made and acted enough to be watchable and is a cut above other recent remakes. Alomar is good but won’t make anyone forget original scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis. Continue reading →
October 28, 2022 “Terrifier 2” (**1/2 out of four) was an in-your-face gore fest about the return of killer Art The Clown (David Howard Thornton) who comes back to the small town of Miles County with murder and blood on his mind (and LOTS of it) and targets one teenage girl (Jenna Kannell) in particular. How much you like or tolerate this movie highly depends on how much blood-drenched violence you can take. It is overall stylishly done and Thornton makes a strong impression as the killer and utilizes his miming skills to good use. However, film does get over-the-top at times and becomes overly disgusting and overly long at over two hours. A definite mixed bag and definitely not for all tastes. WARNING: the blood and gore is so intense that some audience members at screenings had to actually call paramedics and fainted! Continue reading →
October 24, 2022 “Where Are You?” (** out of four) was a muddled psychodrama about a photographer (Irakli Kvirikadze) experiencing a mental and artistic decline who starts taking his frustrations out on his free-spirited girlfriend (Madeline Brewer); when she suddenly disappears, he takes a trip through his own subconscious and becomes lost in an ozone of dread and despair as he searches for her and also his lost self. Hallucinatory and fervently flashy fimmaking from directors Valentina de Amicis and Riccardo Spinnotti hook you in and give you the spiritual sense of a drug trip like mid-period Oliver Stone; unfortunately, this only does so much since it’s hard to figure out what the hell is going on in the story and (even more) what the hell the movie is about! A film one can admire without fully enjoying. Anthony Hopkins has a perplexing cameo and also narrates some of the movie. Continue reading →
October 23, 2022 “Alone In The Dark” (*1/2 out of four) was a ridiculous suspense thriller about a woman (Novi Brown) under house arrest due to the crimes of her ex-husband (Christopher Bencomo) who begins being stalked by an unknown intruder and then hires a private security guard (Terrell Carter) who she falls in love with but begins to wonder who she can trust and where she can turn. Attractive lighting and decent cast do what they can but are overcome by multiple implausibilities and an ending which you literally can’t see coming because it’s so arbitrary and silly. You’d better off watch 1982’s “Alone In The Dark” instead. Continue reading →
October 23, 2022 “Detective Knight: Rogue” (** out of four) was a generic action thriller about a world-weary detective (Bruce Willis) who walks a troubled line between heroism and corruption in navigating the difficult streets of L.A. When his partner (Lochlyn Munroe) is severely wounded and the criminals head for New York, he has to risk everything to track them down and come to terms with the struggles of his past and present. What would have been a perfect role for Willis some 20-30 years ago now seems routine and film is pretty thirdhand and predictable although it remains watchable. One of Willis’ final films but is supposedly the first of a trilogy series. Continue reading →
October 23, 2022 “The Retaliators” (** out of four) was a gory, one-note horror melodrama about a morally conflicted pastor (Michael Lombardi) who is unable to move on with his life until he solves his daughter’s brutal murder and in doing so uncovers a dark and twisted underworld involving sadism and brutality that he is determined to put an end to. Film takes an awfully long time to get going but final third does deliver in terms of blood-drenched kills and action. Blink and you’ll miss Brian O’Halloran, Robert Burke, and also Tommy Lee who show up in meaningless cameos. Continue reading →
