November 6, 2021 “Apex” (* out of four) was an inept remake of 1994’s “Surviving The Game” about five wealthy hunters (led by Neal McDonough) who play a game of hunting someone in the wilderness but their latest victim is an ex-cop (Bruce Willis) who proves to be a difficult hunt and turns the tables on them turning the hunters into the hunted. Original film was far from a classic but at least it had beautiful cinematography and some good dialogue and action scenes; this film is an incoherent bore. Willis sleepwalks his way through his umpteenth paycheck action role and McDonough is alternately hammy and overacting. Film is hardly the “apex” of either of their careers. Continue reading →
November 5, 2021 “Slumber Party Massacre” (*1/2 out of four) was a completely pointless remake of the 1982 cult hit about a group of sorority girls (Hannah Gonera, Frances Sholto-Douglas, Mila Rayne, and others) who are chased to the death by a driller killer whose weapon of choice is a large electric drill (which somehow looked a lot scarier in the original). With the exception of some feminist themes and wordplay, this is a paint-by-numbers thriller without any sparks or scares. At least the original and its sequels had some unintentional yuks and screams. Continue reading →
November 4, 2021 “Deadly Due Date” (*1/2 out of four) was a deadly predictable suspense thriller about a young couple (Ashlynn Yennie and Phillip Boyd) who run into a pregnant classmate (Ella Yannon) at their high-school reunion and agree to adopt her child but don’t realize she has sinister and subversive plans for them all. One more suspense thriller without much suspense and without much thrills since the story is so by-the-numbers and rudimentary. Glossy cinematography by Robert Vardaros is one of film’s few assets. Continue reading →
November 4, 2021 “Planet Dune” (** out of four) was a pretty disposable action melodrama about a crew (Sean Young, Sharon Desiree, Sienna Farrall, and others) on a mission to rescue a marooned base on a desert planet who find themselves hunted and attacked by gigantic worms who live under the planet’s surface. Yet another cheap knockoff of a high-profile/big-budget blockbuster (in this case “Dune” if you couldn’t guess from its title) although the movie it rips off mostly is “Tremors”. Having said that, it’s fairly fast-moving and does have a few good action scenes. Not bad but not exactly worth running to the Redbox machine for either. Continue reading →
November 4, 2021 “Antlers” (*1/2 out of four) was a flaccid horror thriller about a middle-school teacher (Keri Russell) and her brother (Jesse Plemons) whose a sherriff become embroiled with a mysterious student (Jeremy T. Thomas) who carries secrets that lead to terrifying encounters with an ancestral creature that threatens to end all their existence. Pale imitation of “Poltergeist” and also “The Sixth Sense” without much originality and with even lesser scares. Russell tries but is unable to enliven or enrich the proceedings; strong supporting actors Graham Greene, Amy Madigan, and Rory Cochrane are wasted in minor roles. Continue reading →
October 29, 2021 “Paranormal Activity: Next Of Kin” (*1/2 out of four) was a torpid sequel in this never-ending series about a documentary filmmaker (Emily Bader) who goes to a secluded Amish community to learn more about her mother and long-lost relatives but soon finds that there is a lot more danger and deception in this community than it initially appears. Horror fans desperate for scares would better off watch “Witness” for more frightful material; this takes forever to get going and only the last 20 minutes deliver the mere goods. Supposedly this is a direct sequel to the original and ignores other entries but who cares? For “Paranormal” completists only. Continue reading →
October 27, 2021 “Attached: Paranormal” (* out of for) was a nearly unendurable horror mess shown in home-movie flashbacks about a man (Rob Jankowski) who was found dead in his home and it was deemed a suicide but years later found footage is discovered by local authorities. Did he really commit suicide or was his death the result of paranormal activity? Yet another movie that looks like it was filmed on someone’s cell phone and yet another movie to include the word “paranormal” in its title to attempt to give it some worthiness and class. Either way- it’s a real bore. Lead Jankowski also wrote, directed, and produced but he should have “attached” his talents to something else. Continue reading →
October 26, 2021 “The Deep House” (** out of four) was an overly soggy underwater thriller about a young couple (Camille Rowe and James Jagger) who go deep-sea diving in France and discover a bizarre house that has been submerged underwater; they subsequently enter and explore but at their own peril as they soon find that there is an evil and ominous presence that is lurking at the bottom of the ocean that they have now awakened. Not bad, as film holds you with its becalming mood and eerie atmosphere, but after a while film’s plodding pace begins to drag things down and film’s main “surprise” isn’t much of one. In case you were wondering, co-star Jagger is Mick’s son. Continue reading →
October 26, 2021 “Frank” (* out of four) was a dismayingly awful horror melodrama about a young woman (Krsy Fox) who in a moment of desperation vows a life of servitude to a monster she meets named Frank; she then subsequently commits suicide causing the title monster to wreak havoc and all Hell breaks loose. A vanity project for star/writer/director/co-producer Fox but a complete misfire; by the time you sort out the muddle, film is too far gone for it to matter. Fox previously starred in a few of the “Underworld” entries, a reminder on the right way to do these types of movies with flair and style. Continue reading →
October 25, 2021 “Wired Shut” (*1/2 out of four) was a lugubrious/ludicrous thriller about a wealthy former novelist (Blake Stadel) who is unable to speak after recovering from reconstructive jaw surgery and receives an unexpected visit from his estranged daughter (Natalie Sharp); initially, he is touched by her visit but soon realizes her visit carries much more sinister intentions and his life is in danger. Director Alexander Sharp works in a hallucinatory and operatic style that is reminiscent of mid-period Stanley Kubrick but it’s all for nothing, since film is an unpleasant and off-putting bore. Re-watch “Eyes Wide Shut” instead. Continue reading →