October 25, 2021 “Night Teeth” (*1/2 out of four) was a toothless vampire melodrama about a college student (Jorge Lendeborg, Jr.) who moonlights as a chauffeur and picks up two women (Debbie Ryan and Lucy Fry) and subsequently finds out they are bloodsuckers and gradually gets sucked into their shadowy and violent world of vampirism and blood lust. By the standards of most vampire movies, this one is pretty anemic and could have used a transfusion of some style and conviction. Bizarrely, Megan Fox has a brief (and meaningless) cameo as a member of the vampire clan. Continue reading →
October 25, 2021 “The Last Duel” (** out of four) was a sodden medieval melodrama set in 1386 based on the true story of a woman (Jodie Comer) who claims to have been raped by the squire (Adam Driver) of her husband (Matt Damon) who challenges him to a trial by combat and a vicious duel-to-the-death which was the last sanctioned in France’s history. Director Ridley Scott utilizes his typical lavish visual flourishes and costumes but he has covered this territory before far more successfully in “Gladiator” and “Legend”. Story takes an awfully long time to get going and get where it’s going but the last duel, itself, is sensational. Damon and Ben Affleck (who is unrecognizable as King Pierre d’Alencon) both co-wrote the script but this is no match at all for their last joint effort “Good Will Hunting.” Continue reading →
October 23, 2021 “No Man Of God” (*** out of four) was an engrossing crime melodrama based on the true story of a growing friendship that developed between an F.B.I. agent (Elijah Wood) and Ted Bundy (Luke Kirby) who he was sent to investigate; initially, he had his reservations but the more they met, the more they began to trust and understand one another. No masterpiece and no “Silence Of The Lambs” (which film all-too-obviously emulates in its structure) but Wood’s best performance in years and compelling subject matter hold your attention. Robert Patrick is strong as usual in a small but key role as F.B.I. Bureau Chief Roger Depue. Continue reading →
October 23, 2021 “Every Last One Of Them” (** out of four) was a haphazard action potboiler about an ex-Black Ops soldier (Paul Sloan) searching for his missing daughter but this leads him to uncovering an underground criminal empire (led by Richard Dreyfuss and Michael Madsen) involving sex-trafficking and murder that he is determined to put a stop to. Should this at all sound familiar, that’s because Liam Neeson did this thing first (and better) over a decade ago in “Taken” but even “Taken 2 and 3” were better than this uninspired thriller. Fast-moving enough to be watchable but never terribly invigorating. Madsen sleepwalks his way through his umpteenth role as an underworld heavy; Dreyfuss is a bit long in the tooth to be playing a fearsome gangster. Continue reading →
October 22, 2021 “Escape From Area 51” (0 stars out of four) was an excruciatingly inept and low-grade sci/fi drivel about a female warrior (Donna D’Errico) who uses her otherworldly powers to escape from the captivity of Area 51 and attempts to free another warrior (Anouk Samuel) in the process. Or something like that. Laughably awful acting and storytelling are matched by even worse direction and visual effects; this looks like something you’d see on “Mystery Science Theater” in its heyday. D’Errico’s lip collagen and plastic surgery are far scarier than any of the horror and sci/fi elements here. Her and Nikki Sixx’ daughter (Frankie Sixx) makes her film debut here but she should have “escaped” herself. Motley Crue’s 1985 classic album notwithstanding, this is the real theatre of pain. Continue reading →
October 21, 2021 “Amityville Cop” (* out of four) was an awful melodrama about a city reeling from violence and decay and two officers (Jason Toler and Nicole D’Angelo) who attempt to stop a nutjob cop on the prowl who has been enacting vengeance and murdering innocent bystanders on the street and seems to have read one too many “Judge Dredd” comic books. Yet another movie to attempt to cash in on the “Amityville” name but actually rips off “Maniac Cop” instead; in fact, Laurene Landon (who plays a key character) was actually in the first two “Maniac Cop” films! Whatever the title, it’s trashy and stupid and set and show nowhere near Amityville. Continue reading →
October 20, 2021 “Last Man Down” (** out of four) was a hackneyed action potboiler about a former warrior (Daniel Stisen) broken apart from the hardships of civilization and society who now lives apart in seclusion in a forest whose lifestyle is interrupted by the arrival of a woman (Olga Kent) who needs his help and forces him back into action. Second half features some decent action scenes and hand-to-hand combat but film is cluttered by an overwhelming sense of deja vu all over again. This may as well have been titled “Last Man Standing” or “Last Man On Earth” because it tells virtually the same story. Continue reading →
October 20, 2021 “Fear And Loathing In Aspen” (* out of four) was an incomprehensible mishmash based on the true story of gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson (Jay Bulger) and his bizarre desire and run for sheriff of Pitkin County in the ’70’s and the uprising this incurred among townsfolk. 70’s decor and details are just right; the rest is pretty much unwatchable. Hard-core Thompson nutjobs might find more of worth here but it’s awfully hard to take. Bulger is mostly one-note in the lead but so was Johnny Depp when he played him years earlier. Preferable to “Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas” but not by much. Continue reading →
October 19, 2021 “Hell Trip” (** out of four) was a hollow horror melodrama about a group of American tourists (Clayton Boyd, Jay Antsey, Jonathan Boynton-Lee, and others) who go on vacation to a remote village in Africa where they discover all-too-late that it carries an ominous and deadly secret and their lives may be in danger. Highlighted by Justus de Jager’s stark and crisp cinematography but film takes too long to get going and doesn’t deliver the sufficient goods. Shot in 2018 on location in South Africa in some of the hottest weather days there in history. Continue reading →
October 19, 2021 “Killer Advice” (*1/2 out of four) was a sub-routine psychological thriller about a woman (Kate Watson) suffering from PTSD who goes to see a psychiatrist (Meredith Thomas) who is a psychotic sociopath intent on ruining her life and turning it upside down. Enervatingly predictable and so by-the-numbers that you expect to see numbers flashing out at you on screen. Eric Roberts sleepwalks his way through another token supporting role and picks up another easy paycheck. Best “advice” this FB reviewer can give is to re-watch “Fatal Attraction” again instead. Continue reading →
